My School: Ohio

Note: I originally wrote this as submission for Mid Majority's “My School” series. When the site's proprietor went off to Vancouver for the Olympics, he invited readers to write about their schools. A handful of those pieces made it to the site. Mine didn't¹. There was an Ohio piece that made it, though. Aside from a few factual errors, it's probably the better choice and fits the site better.

I was nine when I was exposed to Ohio University² basketball for the first time. It was 1994, and the Bobcats, led by “Shaq of the MAC” Gary Trent, were 23-7 and had a win over UConn. I didn’t know that at the time; all I saw was a team in the Cleveland Plain Dealer seeded 12^th slated to play 5^th seeded Indiana. I remember being confused because I did not know there was an Ohio and an Ohio State. But being the good Ohioan that I was³, and because Ohio State made it easy because they did not get a tournament invite, I dutifully filled out my bracket with the Bobcats winning the national title.

I did not watch Ohio’s 84-72 loss to the Hoosiers. The Bobcats quickly fell out of my consciousness-- I didn’t even know where the campus was (Athens, a solid 3 ½ hours from Twinsburg, where I grew up)-- and I became a Wake Forest⁴ fan. OU didn’t enter my mind again until high school, when I started looking at schools with good journalism programs. I didn’t really miss much: Aside from 1994-95 when they beat Ohio State in Columbus (a game that would have perplexed my young mind) en route to the Preseason NIT title and a #19 ranking, the team didn’t distinguish itself.

I graduated high school in 2002 and had narrowed my choices down to Ohio and Kent State⁵. Now, I was the child of two Golden Flashes. I lived in Kent until I was 4 and did not move very far away. My sister would later attend Kent State. The Flashes were in the midst of an incredible run on the hardwood: They had won 70 games in the previous three seasons and slew Indiana in the 2001 NCAA Tournament (a coincidence of note). My father, in an attempt to get me to go to Kent, would take me to games at the M.A.C. Center⁶. The 2001-02 season was even more special, and I watched Kent State beat Pittsburgh in the Sweet 16 at Kent’s student union⁷.

Comparatively, I had no clue how good Ohio’s team was⁸, but I didn’t consider basketball strength an important factor in picking a school. When I toured the campus for the first time, I knew OU was the school for me. It has a quiet energy about it, featuring Georgian architecture, a row of beautiful cherry blossoms along the Hocking River, and lots of green space. The foothills of the Appalachians surround Athens, giving people a wonderful landscape to admire from March until November. It’s hard to stay inside during the warm months; there are too many places beckoning you outside to enjoy. When people ask me to describe OU, I usually begin with its beauty.

I met Dan shortly into my freshman year. At 6’9”, he was impossible to miss. He was also one of the most outgoing and friendly people I had ever met. I was flattered when he, a senior, invited me, a freshman, to come over to his apartment to watch the Cleveland American-style football team play its games. After those games, he brought me into his room and regaled me with stories of the basketball team. He showed me videos. He told me about the O Zone, the student cheering section. It didn’t take me long to get me excited about the upcoming season. Little did I know the journey I was starting out on.

I attended my first game as a member of the O Zone Wednesday Jan. 8, 2003. Because of Ohio’s quarter system, the season starting during our winter break. I had an evening class, so I didn’t arrive until the second half. We were playing Akron, and the O Zone had come out in force. Zip Andy Hipsher made himself O Zone Enemy #1 the previous season when he came over to the section and made certain gestures and taunts to the students, and we were ready to pay him back. A titanic four overtime struggle ensued. Ohio finally prevailed, and I was hooked. It wasn’t just the exciting game, it was the energy of the O Zone, taunting Hipsher, the coach, mocking Akron players. They were creative and in sync. And Dan led us in our signature “winning team, losing team” chant⁹.

That would be the Zone’s reputation, a group that would find the dirt on opposing players, mock them, and back the ‘Cats. We were the best section in the conference and one of the best in the country. I sound biased. But when teams like Virginia come to Athens and say the O Zone is as good as any student section they’ve seen, it feels good. Because of the O Zone, basketball games became an event. The Bobcats got a lot more support than most bad teams, which Ohio was.

We were bad for the first couple years I was in Athens, but I learned Ohio basketball had many reasons to hold its head high. In 1941, Frankie Baumholtz led the Bobcats to the NIT championship game. This was back when the NIT was the tournament that mattered. Baumholtz, the “Midvale Marvel,” went on to play professional baseball and basketball. OU was a national player in the ‘60s. They beat Notre Dame in the opening round of the NCAA tournament in 1960. In 1964, the Bobcats beat Kentucky to advance to the Elite Eight. The Convocation Center, a jewel of a facility, opened in 1968. The ‘Cats christened the building with a win over Indiana (there they are again). In 1969, back-to-back road wins over Purdue and Ohio State helped Ohio earn a #5 national ranking. This success extended early into the next decade. After home wins over the Buckeyes and Hoosiers, a local paper ran this awesome headline: OHIO WINS BIG TEN, PREPARES FOR MID-AMERICAN OPENER.

I also learned to love the MAC. There’s no other conference quite like it, a geographically close collection of schools in America’s sports heartbreak region¹⁰. All public schools, most of them fairly big. Some in rural areas, some in urban. And the conference does a lot of things that drive me crazy, but I don’t think it would as fun being anywhere else. I doubt Illinois gets jazzed to play Penn State, but conference play in the MAC? It’s a knock down, drag out melee. When Akron comes to town? Man, we hate those guys. Kent State? I take special joy in beating them. Archrival Miami? Biggest game of the year. Buffalo? They hate us. It seems like every game is one we must win because we can’t stand the thought of losing to those jerks from the other school. Because of that, MAC affairs are not for the weak of heart.

In 2005, what started out as another subpar season turned into a magical run. After dispatching hated Marshall in the first round of the MAC tournament, Ohio defeated Kent and Miami to set up a date with Buffalo in the finals. You may have read this account of the game, but what Kyle didn’t witness was Buffalo fans coming over to the Ohio section during our semifinal against Miami and mixing it up with us, leading to the legendary “What is Buffalo sucks?” moment. I was in attendance for all of these games¹¹, and when Leon Williams tipped in the winning basket, it capped the most exhilarating week of my life. I was too excited to even think; I didn’t care that a security guard nearly flattened me as I ran toward the court.

A few months later, Dan was playing a game of pickup in The Convo. They were playing where the O Zone bleachers get pulled out. He died there, in the O Zone, of a heart condition that did not reveal itself until it killed him. A scholarship in his name was established, and a plaque was put on his seat.

Just like Ohio recovered from 19 down against Buffalo, we charged back from down 20 against Florida¹² in the first round of the NCAA. That run, combined with the fact we were returning all but two players, led ESPN to dub OU their “It” team of the 2005-06 season. That team proceeded to get outscored by 27 in the second half at Cincinnati, lead for the first 37 minutes against Kentucky only to lose, and start 6-1 in the MAC only to fall on their faces. The program’s been mediocre since. Head Coach Tim O’Shea left for Bryant, of all places. We’re hoping John Groce can bring us back, but right now the team is dealing with suspensions and arrests. The next few years might be determined by the next couple months.

However, the highlights and the lowlights on the court do not stand out in my memory as much as the friendships I have forged¹³, the jokes that have been made, and the opportunities that have been afforded to me¹⁴. I now cover the MAC for MAC Report Online¹⁵, and I get to see every tournament game in Cleveland from media row. It’s a lot of fun, and it allows me to learn more about The Game that I ever thought I would. It’s a side gig for me, one I love doing. If you're read this, you probably understand.

If I ended up at Syracuse, I would have been there for their national title, which would have been cool. Problem is, I wouldn’t be nearly as close to the heartbeat of The Game as I am now. That’s not a trade I’m willing to make. Most importantly, the basketball team is special because the school is special. Not the other way around.

Postnote: What a difference a couple months makes. Since writing this, the Bobcats ripped off a legendary run, winning the MAC title and beating Georgetown in the first round of the NCAA tournament. The uncertainty that surrounded the program has been replaced with promise and excitement. It remains to be seen if the program has truly turned a new corner or if it's just the past repeating itself, but optimism prevails for now.

_______________________________________________________________________

1 Slight ego bruise on that. It's not as though I write by trade or anything.

2 The “proper” way to refer to Ohio University is Ohio, not Ohio U, Ohio University, or OU. Some alumni really get upset when you say Ohio U. Why? I’ve yet to hear a good reason.

3 I believed then that being from Ohio meant you had to root for any team with “Ohio” in the name. I was a big fan of Jimmy Jackson back in the day and remember being particularly dismayed when the Buckeyes lost to Michigan in the 1992 regional finals. I don't really remember the game, just that I was upset at the result.

4 How? I was a Cavs fan when I was little. Michael Jordan, as you may have heard, routinely killed the Cavs. So I hated MJ. Consequentially, I hated North Carolina. When Randolph Childress crossed over Jeff McInnis in the 1995 ACC final, and I was introduced to a young Tim Duncan, I had a new team.

5 My original top choice was Syracuse. But, I really did not want to go one of the few areas in the country snowier than Northeast Ohio.

6 Before much-needed renovations, the place was a dump. There were pillars that blocked the view of unfortunate people in the second level. Reminded me of old Cleveland Municipal Stadium.

7 They lost to- who else?- Indiana in the regional finals.

8 I was vaguely aware Ohio and Kent were in the same conference. Remember, I was a Wake Forest fan at the time.

9 I recently saw Utah State do this on Pixelvision (the game I was doing for NPD, incidentally). I didn’t know what to think.

10 Seriously. The MAC has schools in the Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Detroit areas. All we need is Seattle.

11 I made the last-minute decision to make the four hour drive to Cleveland after my last class of the week, getting to the arena just before the game.

12 Both times, the comeback started when I angrily declared the game a blowout.

13 Wearing face paint and a big green wig earns the appreciation of middle-aged men, but not too many women.

14 And the time referee Mike Roberts ejected me from a game, the most embarrassing moment of my life. The one time I brought a girl to a game…

15 www.macreportonline and @macreportonline on Twitter!

I, Sportswriter

I've been a writer almost as long as I can remember. I wasn't producing anything profound by any stretch; some of my earliest work involved creating stories for the Hot Wheels cars that I spent many an hour racing¹ in my room. My love of sports does stretch back as far as I can remember².

I had also established that I wanted to be a journalist at a young age. One project in seventh grade involved picking a career and doing research for it, including shadowing a person of that particular occupation for a day. I followed a reporter at the Sun Newspapers and just thoroughly enjoyed it.

So when I told people I wanted to be a reporter, many of them connected this desire to my love of sports and asked if I wanted to be a sports writer. I scoffed and sneered that I wanted to be a real journalist³. I told those people I wanted to report on things that matter.

How, then, did I get here? I'm officially a semi-professional sports journalist and am currently in talks to run MAC Report Online, as well as an incredible opportunity I'm not going to fully discuss at this time.

What I really wanted to be was a political reporter. What better, to follow the movers and shakers around and tell the world what they were doing⁴? I would be contributing to the democratic process, ensuring an informed electorate. I actually believed this.

So I set out with that goal in mind. I was able to land the statehouse reporter position at The Post, and I did a lot of work that I was proud of. I produced copy that was compared favorably to similar work at major metro dailies. I was doing what I had dreamed of, and I was good at it⁵.

That pretty much ended when I left The Post. I couldn't go back, and when I finally could, I found that I didn't want to. I wrote my column for Speakeasy for a couple years, and it was fun, but it was more an exercise in self-indulgence than anything else.

I finally left Speakeasy when I got tired of its terrible management⁶, and my public outlet for writing, save my blog, went with it. I had my poetry- always have- but that has always been a largely private endeavor. I never really stopped writing, but I felt like I needed an outlet. However, I had become disillusioned with the journalism industry and felt my life going in another direction, so I wasn't sure what to do.

Allow me to rewind a bit. I signed up for the newly-revamped Bobcat Attack forum in early 2005, just as the Ohio basketball team was starting on the run that ended with a MAC tournament championship and a thrilling date with Florida in the NCAA tournament. While I had always been an insanely close follower of sports, my knowledge of them was quite superficial.

Through the forum, I became connected with other fans. I started signing up for other fora and connecting with more people. As I did, I acquired more knowledge. Through these connections, I happened upon The Mid-Majority and Fire Joe Morgan.

While it may seem crazy, I credit these sites with opening my eyes⁷. Through FJM, I learned of sabermetrics⁸, which has been invaluable in fantasy baseball⁹. More importantly, Mid-Majority, and its spin-off site, Basketball State, turned me on to tempo-free stats.

I won't bore you with the specifics, but it's an entirely new, different, and superior method of using statistics to evaluate player performance on the basketball court¹⁰. I saw the value in these stats early on and jumped on them.

One of the other fora I'm a member of is the Buffalo fan site, UBFan. One Buffalo fan, Tim, runs a blog, Hoops Junkie. In January 2007, he decided he was going to go on vacation and needed a couple people to man the ship while he was gone. I figured, hey, why not? So I asked if I could give it a go, and he agreed. And it was fun, so I asked him if I could make more contributions to the site every so often. Apparently, he liked what I wrote¹¹, and he said that was cool.

So I was doing that for a bit, and Dave Ruthenburg, who runs MAC Report Online¹², said Tim sometimes contributed to the site and saw I was writing for HJ as well and wanted to use a couple of my articles on his site. Would that be OK? Yeah, sure. Eventually, he said I was free to submit anything for the site that I felt would be appropriate.

So I was doing writing for Hoops Junkie and MAC Report Online, based solely off of my passion for MAC basketball and writing. I was employing my skills with tempo-free stats¹³, which had grown a considerable amount. I shot off an email this winter to Dave, who had recently moved to Oklahoma, a far cry from MAC land. I asked him if he needed any help covering the tournament. He said yes. I suddenly found myself with a media credential for the MAC tournament.

I ended up covering most of the tournament. I did two of the four games in the first and quarterfinal rounds, plus both semifinals and the finals. It was a blast, and I took in every minute. I even set up a Twitter account for MRO and gained a lot of followers. It was a big hit. The 12-hour days, while tiring, didn't faze me at all.

During the tournament, Dave flew in from OK and we spent most of the latter part of the week sitting next to each other. At some point, he asked me if I would be interested in running the site next year, as he felt like like I was doing good work and he needed someone closer to the ground.

So I went, essentially, from random idiot on a message board to what looks to be the editor of a respected site, as well as the undisclosed opportunity, which I'm actually more excited about, and will explain later. As I joked to Whelliston in Cleveland, I'm a lesser, regional version of him¹⁴.

That took a lot longer to write than I anticipated. Sorry. Still, it's kind of extraordinary journey. I kind of feel bad for people that want to be actual sports writers. I just consider this a hobby that has taken me on a great ride. Don't know where it's going to take me next, but I'm excited to see.

_________________________________________________________________________

1 I had tournaments with full brackets and seedings and everything. I even had a rankings system. This was serious business. Acquiring a new Hot Wheels (not a crappy Mattel) was a big deal; I had to see where it fit in in the ranking system, how good of a car it was. I was aware that races were probably influenced as much by the unequal strength of the arms I used to race the cars and that I favored some cars, especially Ferraris, over others, but I didn't care.

2 I remember my first baseball game at the old Municipal Stadium. The Indians were playing the Red Sox, and Mike Greenwell hit a foul ball off the roof of that gigantic stadium. I don't remember how old I was. Maybe four. I do not remember my first basketball game; apparently I saw Kareem Abdul-Jabbar play. My first football game was a Monday Night Football affair in which Bernie Kosar beat Steve Young.

3 I felt that sports reporters weren't taken seriously in the journalism community. I have not been fully disabused of that notion.

4 I was certainly inspired by All the President's Men, but I had already established my intentions to become a journalist before reading it or seeing the movie.

5 If you really want to read my old work, Google "Jeffrey Fitzwater" or search for that in The Post's archives (if they work). You can also ask me and I'll do the searching for you. I'm just that nice.

6 And getting the "Most Improved" award from a first-quarter editor that clearly hadn't even read me before just felt like a slap in the face. I'm not bragging, but I was the site's biggest draw when I was there. At least pretend like you know what you're doing when you're my editor.

7 I should also say that they are/were run by terribly nice people. When FJM decided to hang it up, I sent them all emails to tell them my gratitude for the site, and they graciously wrote back. I have also had the pleasure to hang with Kyle Whelliston, the proprietor of Mid-Majority, on a number of occasions. Great guy.

8 I love, LOVE, the fact that Tufts University actually has a class on this.

9 Since employing these stats when drafting my team, I'm much more successful than I ever was before. It really works! I'm making $30,000 a month working from home! Call now!

10 As Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey said in Michael Lewis' fantastic piece in the New York Times: "Someone created the box score, and he should be shot."

11 I just went back and looked at my first entry on the site, and it's terrible. Boy howdy.

12 The #1 site for Mid-American Conference news! Really.

13 Established sports writers are notoriously slow to adapt to new ways of thinking, especially when it comes to statistics. So, in a way, I'm still kind of on the cutting edge and have even been recognized as such, which is pretty cool.

14 He started Mid-Majority out of love for mid-major basketball. He traveled to games, used the site to chronicle his travels, and ended up as a writer for ESPN and Basketball Times. Now he travels all around the country, is kind of a rock star, and has a lot going for him.

Not That I Pretend to Have Anything Figured Out, But...

Last night, the phone rang. This is a fairly seldom occurrence on its own, so I'm usually surprised when it happens. What nearly shocked me though was that "Immigrant Song" was playing from the phone. That's the ex-girlfriend's ringtone. I hadn't bothered to change it, because why would I? So I just sat there for a moment, making sure I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. Yep, sure was. I stared at the phone for a couple seconds. Should I answer it? Sure.

What followed amounted to an admission on her part. She had problems. She was doing things she shouldn't have been doing, and she realizes fully what that meant at last. There were people she hurt, so she wanted to apologize to those people.

I never expected an apology, so getting one was a pleasant surprise. Yeah, it felt good. If someone comes to me and I think they're contrite, I'm pretty quick to forgive. Some may say that's a bad thing, but I disagree with those people. If she's serious about fixing things, I want to help her in whatever way I can. I hope she can, because there's so much good that can come of it if she does.

In my hurry to get to tonight's basketball game- and by hurry, I mean arrive before the one hour to tip countdown started- I left my keys in the car. And for whatever reason, I liked it on the way out. And for pretty much the first time, I elected to do so by pressing the button on the door. I don't think I had ever done it that was before. Why did I do that? No idea. Possible subconscious sabotage, maybe. But I didn't even realize this until the game was over (four straight for the Cats!), so I had to tromp to Tim's place in the rain- wasn't good for my wig- and call the police to help me.

They came, but they couldn't get the door open. Phone calls were made, and a locksmith was found. The game probably ended in the 9:30 range, and this episode didn't resolve until about 12:45. Outstanding. Plus, whatever the police did trying to get the door open, the passenger door doesn't open from the outside anymore. For those of us keeping score, I've locked myself out of my car and my apartment in the span of 10 days. Go me.

Sometimes, Life is Pretty Wonderful

I just want to say, if you've never listened to Explosions in the Sky, you need to leave this blog now and do so. I can't recommend it enough or praise them enough. Their music is, quite simply, epic. I can't wait to turn off the lights, close my eyes, and just experience them. It's a rare treat.

I don't often have them, but Saturday was a genuinely good day. There was basketball (a too-close win over Ball State), there was helping a friend, and there was going to Casa Cantina at night to watch Southeast Engine play. A townie was really enjoying himself, running around, dancing, waving his drink glass around. People dancing in the middle, not well or technically but clearly just riding the moment. There's just something great about having a pint of raspberry wheat (good stuff!), jamming along with your friends to a great band. When we all screamed "whooooooa!" during "Where Are You Now?" it just felt... genuine, you know? Like this is one of the moments of life that you always will remember. It wasn't white-knuckle exciting, but it was the manifestation of something you can't fake. Having my oldest OU friend with me (among others), taking in an excellent performance by one of my favorite bands... it doesn't get a whole lot better than that, does it?

Watch It, Old Man

It's a sad moment in your life when you say the following to yourself without a hint of irony: "Stop trying to do that. You're not 17 anymore." For whatever reason, I've started thinking of myself as 24, even though I don't turn 24 for several months. Bah. I think this is really only a tennis thing; I keep thinking about the glory days (such as they were) of high school.

I'm not old. I still look 16, and my maturity level is probably less than that. But... I feel a little proud of myself. I finally bought and assembled a desk and a chair. Yes, before this, I was sitting on the floor when using the computer. I actually have furniture now. Go me. If anyone knows me, you know this is something of a major accomplishment for me, as I'm so terrible at such things.

Also, I got access to ESPN 360, and they're showing five matches AT A TIME! Holy crap! Good times ahead. And the Harlem Globetrotters are going to be here Wednesday... game against Akron Thursday... life is looking pretty good. Just stop snowing.

My Yearly Reminder That I Want to Marry an Australian

Second week in January. You know what that means! You don't? Oh, well, I'll tell you: The Australian Open! Rah! Yay! Woo! OK, I know I'm the only one that's excited. Work with me here. I have two weeks of compelling tennis and crazy Aussie fans to look forward to, and I'm gonna enjoy it, dag nab it!

Sort of enjoy it, at least, because I don't have cable. But I can follow the scores online! Oh yeah!

Went to BG last weekend for the first OU basketball game of the conference season. Not only did the game suck (I haven't gotten around to uploading the pictures), but I accidentally passed Cedar Point on the way, which only served to remind me about the great day I had there with the ex-girlfriend... totally and completely destroyed my mood. And that made me think about more things she said that now suck to think about, but I'll spare you. You get the idea.

I have to pass along this anecdote, though. On Sunday, I stopped at Steak 'n' Shake because I had a thing for a free shake. Seeing as I wasn't going to be in the area for a couple months, I decided to use it right then. Also, I wanted to stop by and see if Angela was working to bother her. Well, guess who was working? Yeah. I just sat down and looked straight forward, avoiding seeing her at all costs. Of course, she comes right up to me and says hi... and rubs my back. Why? Why would you do that? She sits down (ugh) and begins to make small talk (give me a freaking break). That led to this gem:
Her: How are you?
Me: Can't wait for this week to be over.
Her: Why?
Me: It's been a crappy week.
Her: Really?

No, not really. In fact, I did a cartwheel when you dumped me because I was so happy. Yes, it was a sucky week. Not only did you inform me our relationship was a sham, I drove across the state to watch my basketball team lose to a terrible Bowling Green squad. After that, she stroked my arm momentarily. Again, why? Don't touch me. You gave up that right. I spotted Angela after a couple minutes and beckoned over. "Oh, but you're talking."
"I know. Get over here."
The ex, thankfully, felt awkward enough to get up and leave. Then after I left, she sends me a text message! Unbelievable. I can't get the girl to get in touch me while we're dating, now she won't leave me be when I didn't want to see her. I called Angela later to give her a hard time, and she said the ex was acting weird around her after I left, almost like she was guilty. She apparently said to Angela, "I broke Jeffrey's heart, didn't I?" No, you didn't. Can't break what you don't have. Bruised, yes. Broken, no. Angela said she didn't really sound remorseful about it, which is just kind of... weird. How can you be so unaware of your actions and how they affect others? Whatever.

I was able to go to a movie viewing ("The Big Kahuna") and a discussion afterwards from a spiritual standpoint. That was really good, as I'd been feeling really disconnected from the faith in recent months. I need to get re-centered and back to the important things. I did a great job of that today by sleeping through church.

Thankfully, the week ended well with a beating of Miami on the hardwood. I always feel good after that! We tried to storm the court but failed miserably, which was one of the most horrifying events of my life. Seriously, that was a nightmare come to life. The players, thankfully, sort of bailed us out by coming to us in the stands. That was a great moment.

Now, if you're an Aussie and single...

On One Hand...

Two more things I thought of. One time we were talking on the phone and she said, pretty much out of nowhere, that things would really open up in the summer when we wouldn't be tied to our respective towns. Another was she talked about on multiple occasions how she really wanted my parents to like her, how that was important to her.

That was all her. Meeting parents, having dinner with her family, all her. Yet she never wanted a relationship? It makes my head spin.

On the plus side, Kohl's is selling socks at buy two, get one. I needed new socks, so score. I'm excited. Tomorrow I'm heading to BG for the MAC opener against the Falcons, then back to Athens on Sunday. Good times are ahead. Can't wait to have some Sonic.

Cleveland Calling

Admittedly, this is a bit late, as it's been nearly two weeks since this all happened. But hey... I've been busy. First, I had to do what I'm actually writing about, and I to take finals, and I had to come back to Twinsburg and be bored for a while before I actually got around to writing this, so... yeah. So much to do.

Two weeks ago, I made the trip up to Cleveland for the MAC tournament. When the Bobcats have a chance to punch a ticket to the Big Dance, I'm going to make sure I see it. The conference changed things up a bit this year. Previously, the first round was held on Monday with the games on the higher seed's floor. Starting with this year, they moved the first round games to Cleveland... and on Wednesday, with the quarters on Thursday. That's a big change. It also sucks because we lose out on one last game at The Convo.
Another change was the times for the quarterfinal matchups. For the last couple years, the game between the #4 and #5 seed was the final game of the evening, at 9 p.m. But because the MAC wanted Kent and Akron playing the late games, they moved all the times around. The 4/5 game was put at the 2 p.m. time slot.
This was a problem because I had class on Thursday afternoon. If it was at the normal late spot, it wouldn't have been a problem because I could have gotten there with plenty of time after my last class of the day. So what to do? Beg the professors, of course. I pitched them that I needed to be there to support the team because of "organizational commitment" as president of the O Zone. I don't think they bought that argument, but they let me off class for Thursday anyway. Hooray!
So I got ready after my final Wednesday class and got in the Escape and headed for Twinsburg. I had the dulcet tones of Derek Scott playing on the radio as the Bobcats were taking on Bowling Green in the first round of the tournament. I was confident that Ohio would handle the Falcons without much problem, as they had destroyed BG in both of their previous games. I was a bit concerned, however, as BG led early on before Ohio took the lead. They nearly blew it at the end, but they pulled it out. I would have been none too happy to make the drive up to Twinsburg for what would've turned out to be no reason.
Thursday came and I was so excited, I got up at about 7 a.m. and couldn't sleep after that. Lots of energy. I met up with Ross before the game at the Winking Lizard. The turnout wasn't great, but what can you expect on a Thursday afternoon? A win against Miami would put us in the 7 p.m. Friday seminal against Toledo, and you can bet people would turn out then. But first things first, we had to dispose of Miami in the quarterfinals.
It was safe to say that I was feeling good about our chances. Miami had lost to Bowling Green (the conference's worst team) on Sunday in the season finale, and it looked like they were heading to their usual end of the season skid. Furthermore, we had knocked Miami out of the tournament three out of the last four years, including a drubbing in last year's quarterfinals. They knew it and we knew it: Ohio owned Miami in Cleveland.
Before the game, I met with some people that I knew and met a lot of new people. And a strange trend continued. All the season, people have been asking to take their picture with me. It's really weird. I guess it's the face paint and the hair, but for me of all people, it's a weird thing. I'm not used to people I know wanting to take pictures with me, let alone strangers.
A bit before tip-off, one of the promo workers came up to me and asked if I wanted to do the free throw contest at halftime. Sure, why not? I signed the form and got a pass to go down to court level. About five seconds later, I got nervous. I told Jeff McKinney, one of the moderators of Bobcat Attack, that I was nervous. He said I'd do fine. I ran into Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt and mentioned that I was doing the halftime contest. "Oh, well, we won it yesterday, so you gotta keep it going," he said. Wonderful.
When the game started, the handful of O Zoners that could make it and some displaced 110 members (apparently they brought too many) sat in the front of the Ohio section to cheer our boys on. I got to set next to Leon Williams' dad, which was a lot of fun. I met him last season at the UK game, and he's a firecracker. The exact opposite of Leon, who's a very laid back dude. It's nice to be able to sit and talk with someone who has a unique perspective on the team and the game.
Like I said, Ohio has owned Miami in recent years, and the RedHawks knew it. They came out charging. They were attacking on offense and defense, and we didn't have an answer. It looked dire almost immediately, and Miami opened up a double-digit lead fairly quickly. Uh oh. This isn't what we had in mind. The Bobs didn't look like they had the fire or the willingness to put up the energy necessary to beat Miami back. The crowd knew it, too, and that depressing feeling started to sink in. We weren't going to lose to Miami, would we?
I had to meet the promotions girl down on the court at about the four-minute mark, so I excused myself from my seat and made my way down there. The view from there didn't look much better, either. By the time the first half ended, we were down 16. More dishearteningly, the team walked past me on the way to the locker room and they looked like dead men walking. They didn't look tired or fatigued (the excuse O'Shea would later fall back on), but they looked defeated. Shoulders were slumped. Their eyes told me they were beat. Even coach Rhodes appeared as though he wanted to get on the bus back to Athens right then. Suffice to say I wasn't encouraged for the second half.
My friend Brandon was talking to me before the contest started. Apparently he was the one that did the contest yesterday and won. He said something about not air balling and embarrassing yourself. I wasn't really listening. I was too busy worrying about my palms sweating and the fact I hadn't eaten since about 9 a.m. and it was about 3:30 p.m. and I felt like I was going to pass out because of hunger. So I really did a poor job of preparing myself for the contest.
Now, I have to say that I don't do a whole lot well in basketball. I'm short, I'm skinny, I don't shoot well from the outside, and my dribbling doesn't impress anyone. But I do shoot free throws well. In all honesty, I think I can beat a sizeable number of NBA players in a free throw competition. How people getting paid millions of dollars to shoot 60% from the line is beyond me. But I had never done it in front of a crowd before, and I never had a time limit before.
I'm hoping that explains why I completely missed the rim by about a foot on the first shot. I mean, I shot it fine, but my legs gave me absolutely nothing on the shot. My wince was probably priceless. There's nothing like the sound of a couple thousand people groaning because of you, by the way. Fantastic feeling. I think that initial air ball jump started me, though, because I found a groove after that. I had hit something like 6 of 7- I wasn't paying complete attention to whether they were going in or not- when the PA guy said there was 10 seconds left. That completely wrecked my concentration, and I didn't make another one after that. The nice thing was I had already made enough to beat the Miami student, who apparently wasn't sure was a basketball was. I won a $50 gift card to Aeropostale, which is a store I've never set foot in in my life. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the thing. Anyone want it?
The second half was more of the same, really. Miami outhustling us on both ends of the floor, the Bobcats looking like they'd rather eat a cactus than try and mount a comeback, and Leon's dad complaining about the lack of three-point shooting. Like I said, it's good to talk to a guy with his perspective on things. I asked him about O'Shea. He just shook his head and reaffirmed the notion that nobody likes him as a coach or thinks he's fit to do the job. He also said- repeatedly- that Leon needs the ball more. I agreed and asked him if Leon would ever say anything. "No," he responded. "That's not what he does."
So Ohio's season ended with a 19-point beating at the hands of their main rival. Awesome. On the brighter side, I got to talk for a bit with Kyle Whelliston, he of the midmajority.com and ESPN mid-major wunderkind. I always enjoy talking to him when I get the chance. He commented on my face paint and we talked shop for a bit. He said the offense looked like "a mess" on the court and asked what the fans thought of the job O'Shea was doing. We also conversed about the tournament and the MAC in general for a while, which was fun.
Brandon offered me his extra ticket for the night session, featuring Akron/CMU and Kent/WMU. Why not? Interestingly, we were seating very close to the AK-Rowdies, the Akron student cheering section. And man oh man are they lame! Seriously, this was like a convention of dorks assembled to watch a basketball game. It was baaaad. The cheers, the taunts... it was almost comical. I'm not even going to get into it in detail.
We moved to the other side to sit with the WMU fans for the second game, which was much closer than the blowout Akron subjected the Chippewas to. A number of the Bronco fans were quite drunk and yelling about an "Ohio conspiracy" with the referees. I resisted the urge to tell them these were the same refs the conference had used all year, and most of them weren't from Ohio. But whatever.
Somehow, we ended up hanging out with the players and families after the game. And I have to say, they seemd a lot more upset about losing than the Ohio players did... and they didn't even lose to their rival. So I have to wonder, has their fire been taken away? I think it has. Another indictment of O'Shea.
Both Whelliston and Brandon were trying to coax me into going to the semis the next night, but I didn't want to pay the money for tickets. As Ohio had been knocked out of the tournament, I no longer got the student discount on tickets. Whelliston parted with a "I'll see you tomorrow." I groaned. Well, he didn't. My dad bought a XBox 360 the next day, so I stayed home and watched Kent collapse in the second half against Akron and his subsequent foul mood. Unfortunately, Akron and Miami played for the championship, which made me feel like I was being cosmically punished for something. When Penno hit the buzzer beater, I fell to the fround screaming, "Nooooo!" Feel free to laugh.

It was cold in Cleveland (surprise!), but when I got to Athens, it was nice and warm. Apparently it had been the whole time since I left. Sigh.

Close Your Eyes and Say Good Night

So I think Nate is getting tired of me destroying him in Smash Bros. I don't even remember the last time he's won a game. Speaking of games, I've been playing Betrayal at the House on the Hill, which is a lot of fun. Basically, it's a board game in which 3-6 players are exploring the neighborhood haunted house. The twist is that one of the party is a traitor. At some point the game, the traitor is revealed along with his plan. The traitor tries to accomplish whatever goals s/he has and the heroes try to stop him. You don't know who the traitor is or what the scenario is in advance; it's all random. Good fun for a group, and just about anyone can enjoy it.

Basketball plays Kent Sunday at 2. As it turns out, Kent chose their home MAC opener for their "let's try and sell out the gym" promotion, so it looks like the Bobcats are going to be playing in front of a full house on the road. Ohio hasn't played well at the M.A.C. Center recently, so I'm not too optimistic on this one.
On a vaguely related note, I owe a friend of mine a high-five and jealousy because he achieved the Impossible Dream, dating a volleyball player. I'm pretty sure his life is more awesome than mine now.

At the moment, I'm listening to "Story of a Girl" by Nine Days and it makes me feel good and sad at the same time. I'm weird.

Met Emma's boyfriend, Noah, today. Nice guy. We seem to have a lot in common, so we've gotten along pretty well. They seem pretty good for each other. Hope they are; she deserves a break to go her way.
A quick thought about relationship-esque things: I'm pretty sure TV and movies are to blame for this, but I realized at some point in the recent past that I'm terrified to do anything physical with women. I'm completely convinced that they don't to be touched, don't like to be kissed, don't want to have sex... none of that. Yes, it's insane, but whenever I'm trying to touch, kiss, whatever, I'm always thinking she doesn't want to, that only guys like this and girls just want to... talk or something. On a related note, I always like it 500% more when a girl is the one to initiate a hand holding or whatever. I'm pretty sure Shasta likes it when I pet her, though. So I do it a lot.

Anyone who's known me a while knows that for whatever reason, my roommates typically don't stick around for a while. Well, I have one that doesn't look like he's leaving anytime soon... and I can't stand him. He's a slob, he's dirty, and he doesn't do anything. The other day, he was smelling the room up so bad that I had to leave. And this is even with an Air Wick and employing Febreeze. He doesn't put his dirty clothes in a hamper or bag or anything; instead, he throws it all into one giant pile. Mind you, he has a clothing bag or two, but they've been incorporated into the giant pile. He moves it from his bed to his chair depending on which he's using. He's been sleeping in until about 6 p.m. He doesn't go anywhere, doesn't talk to anyone, just sits at his computer and does... whatever all day. Seriously. He doesn't move. Nobody other than his twin brother has ever come to visit him. I mean, is he even alive? Oy.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. The Australian Open starts on Sunday! And here is a very cool game that I discovered at random a little bit ago; it got Cheryl Sadler completely hooked.
Food for thought: Is Christianity in America a lie? Honestly, I think it is. A former professor once put forth the theory that there are two Christianities, a religious Christianity and a social Christianity. The people that belong to the latter don't really know or really care about the tenants and lifestyle of the faith, but use it as a rallying point for whatever it is they want to accomplish (see: gay marriage). The Religious Right is a pretty good example of this. Is their mission religious or political? It's hard to argue in earnest that it's God directing them when a lot of what they do flies in the face of the teachings of Jesus.

And I can't remember if I mentioned this, but some jerk has been stealing markers or breaking the tips off them from my whiteboard. Honestly, who does that? Why? It's not funny. I don't get people. If you have a problem with me, just come to me. I'd like to think I'm reasonable.

Really Trying Not to be Emo

I feel really emo sometimes. I can't help it. It's just like... everything goes out of its way just to kick me. I don't get it. I really don't.

OK, some happy stuff first: The basketball team smacked around Bowling Green tonight, 69-47. BG was never close, and the defense played quite well. The 'Cats are now 2-0 in the MAC and 11-4 overall with a date with Kent on Sunday. A win there and the sky is the limit. I said before this is the best team in my five years at OU, and I haven't seen anything to change that. Also, the first Dervish of the quarter is up.

Some introspective stuff: I still feel trepidation/am a little afraid around Carolyn. A little bit with Kat, too, but that's different. With Carolyn, it's like I fear that I'm going to start liking her again, or that I never really stopped liking her in the first place... and that's only going to cause the both of us pain. I'm so paranoid. I mean, I don't feel like I like her anymore. It's just... weird, seeing her, being around her, remembering how we were at each other's throats last quarter. And that's just supposed to be forgotten? Well, probably, but it's not how I'm used to going about things. I'm not sure where she fits in, or where she's supposed to fit in. And I guess with Kat, it's just like our relationship. I'm waiting for something bad to happen. It just doesn't feel right. The other shoe should be dropping (remember the paranoia?) for some reason, even though there's absolutely no reason to expect it to. And that's my problem, really. I'm always convinced I'm going to get hurt or I'm going to hurt someone else.

Bad stuff: Speaking of, I hadn't mentioned Jessica in... um... some time. I had sent her a little thing for Christmas with a card, a bookmark with her name and a Bible verse, and a poem I wrote her. I hadn't heard from her in a couple weeks, so I was getting afraid that either she didn't get it or that she did and did not like it. Well, I finally got a hold of her a couple days ago. She said that she did get it, and that it was totally sweet and that she loved it. Awesome. I message her tonight and she tells me she's having an "intense" conversation with her former boyfriend... the one that cheated on her. So, based on recent events and my own protective nature, I naturally jump into defense mode. And boy did that conversation not go well. She said it was weird because it had been so long but he's the only guy she's ever truly loved, and they've been hanging out now that she's in North Carolina, and he's planning on enrolling at BYU-Idaho in the future, and he might be angling for something... during the course of the conversation she said I was making her feel dumb and that I was jumping all over her (which really just made me feel terrible, let me tell you). Ugh. That could not have gone much worse.
I mean... if when everything is said and done she gets back with this guy, that's pretty much the worst case scenario. I would be completely devastated by that. A guy throws away the one thing I never and he gets it again? I couldn't take that. Am I getting ahead of myself, jumping to conclusions? Absolutely. Is this the sort of thing that happens to me? It totally is. (Remember the paranoia?)

In other words, I hate women. I think I should just move out to California with Mr. Chesnut and start over or something.

But I should think positively, right? I mean, after all, this whole thing just means that the door is open for someone else.

Three day weekend coming up. That'll be nice. Maybe we'll head up to Kent for the game Sunday. I don't know. I do know I have a lot of work to do. I want to work on my AmeriCorps apps too. It's only the second week of the quarter and Kat already looks quite tired. The girl does too much; she only gets three hours or so of sleep a night. Why work like that? I said she should drink a lot of Red Bull. She said she doesn't want the crash and will fuel herself with "personal motivation." Right. I think the body will just refuse at one point.

So This is the New Year

You know, every year we get the political cartoons and platitudes of leaving the bad of the previous year behind. It was most prevalent in 2000 as we bid "goodbye" to Hitler, McVeigh, etc. We act as though because we have to buy a new calendar, it's somehow a fresh start, a clean slate. I don't get this. Nothing changes on January 1st but a number. We never leave anything behind, we don't start anew. And if we did, we never do anything with it. Look at 2001. Look at 2006. We do the same terrible, stupid, destructive things that we always have. I'm not saying a new year isn't worth celebrating, but let's not delude ourselves. The same crap happens every year.

So we started with the new quarter this week. Like I said earlier, I think I have a pretty solid slate of classes. So when I started the quarter out, I was feeling pretty good. I get to Bentley for my first class at 11, walk into the classroom, and who do I see? Kat. Freaking Kat. I just wanted to laugh. I mean... come on. Why? See, I'm God's hackey sack. He loves to mess with me.
The part that I found even weirder- and even frightened me a little- is that we actually talked for about 10 minutes after the class and it wasn't even awkward at all. I mean... shouldn't it be awkward? The last time I saw her, she was dumping me. There should be something a little weird about talking in that circumstance.
And as a quick aside, Carolyn and I have actually been able to talk to each other without any problem, which has helped to give me some closure I didn't know I needed. The whole thing still hurts, though. I don't heal quickly.

As someone pointed out to me, I'm a full-throttle guy. I don't hold back. I'm all the way. And because of that, I get the highest highs and the lowest lows. That's pretty much true. She recommended that I try to temper myself a bit... I just don't see how I can do that, though. I mean, it's not... not me. I don't know. I have closed my heart off again, though... I just can't take another blow again. I just can't. I know it makes Melissa mad, but it's a survival thing.

OK, something a bit happier. The basketball team opened the MAC season off last night against Akron, the preseason favorite in the conference. And let me tell you, that game was hot. The O Zone was completely packed; kids were standing in the aisles and it spilled over into the section above us. The rest of the crowd looked pretty full (the official attendance was about 5,300, but it looked more like 7k). Our props of spinwheels and giant foam bricks came in, and it was really cool to see them in action. Most of all, we were loud and active. Especially after a couple monster alley-oops by Jerome Tillman, the O Zone was as loud as I've ever heard it. The whole thing was great. I hope we keep that up all year.

And lastly, I need to say I just found out that someone very important to me was hit by her ex-boyfriend while they were dating (left a bruise one time). It made me furious, to the point that if he were nearby, I would've grabbed some sort of weapon and went to town on him. You just DO NOT DO THAT. EVER. And it bothers me just as much that she didn't feel like she could tell me or anyone else out of concern for him. It's all so wrong on so many levels. And another friend of mine is being stalked by an ex-boyfriend, which brought her to tears the other night. I don't get it. I really don't. How can guys treat women with such disrespect? What did they do to deserve it?

There's so much I cannot understand.

Still Holding on for Dear Life

Man, my family is exciting. My father spent most of the day sleeping on the couch and my mother watching dumb stuff on TLC. Me? I bought face paint.
So it's December 29. When did that happen? I saw someone mention that in four days, we'll be back in Athens. And you know, that never really hit me. I had thought about it (sort of), but not like that. Now it's, "Holy crap!" It's not that I don't want to go to Athens, but dang, it's almost catching me by surprise.
There are, of course, things I am very much looking forward to and anticipating in the upcoming quarter. Naturally, basketball season has me seriously pumped. I'm taking a slate of classes that I think I will enjoy. Heck, I'll even have a car. Yes, thanks to Ashley's woeful grades last semester, I'm getting the Escape. Wee! I'm getting the beds debunked, so maybe I can actually get a decent night's sleep. I'm also bringing down a few items to make the place feel a little homier for me. And last (but certainly not least), I have in my possession a George Foreman grill. Oh yeah.
But there are things that concern me. A certain girl could make things more difficult than they need to be. Mind you, she shouldn't, and I really see no reason why she should. But it's still something I'm scared of. For good reason? I don't know. It's just not something I'm doing a good job dealing with, and I don't even know why! It's all very strange. But... whatever. If she's going to pull crap, I'll deal with it somehow. I have more important things to worry about than her.
One such thing is me inching closer and closer to graduation. And there's two things with that: I don't know what I'm doing come June. I really have no idea. People ask, and I have nothing to tell them. I have things I want to do, but I don't have anything I'm going to do. Plus, there's the very real fear for me that I'm going to fail. I'm terrified of myself. I don't think I can do this. I've convinced myself I'm going to let everyone down, that I'm going to fall flat on my face (if I haven't already yet and just haven't realized it).
And if I may digress for a moment, this is part of the reason I'm convinced I can't make anything work with women. I feel like I bring nothing palpable to the table, and I'm far too dependent. I need it, yet nobody in their right mind would take someone as screwed up as me. These are things I actually think about on a constant basis. This is why they always bail after a few weeks. They start to see the truth. Welcome to manic depression.
I suppose it's not all gloom and doom. There is tomorrow's game against UC tomorrow at The Q. That should be fun (especially if we win).

I don't know. Everything is either coming together or falling apart. I just can't tell which. It would be a big boost to me, though, if Jessica enjoys what I sent her earlier this week.

My Shiny Dome Reigns Yet

I was informed today that it snowed 3-5 inches back home. As ever, I'm glad I'm in Athens. I can still see the green grass here.

So Carolyn came to me the other night and told me the reason she was curt with me was because she was trying to concentrate on the economics paper and my attempts at conversation were annoying her. She said she would've reacted that way to anyone... but she could've just told me to stop talking. But whatever. It is what it is. Then last night, I try to make a joke and she completely takes it seriously and rubs her the total wrong way. Oy. Sometimes, I can't win. But I keep telling myself I'm not going to let her keep me from doing my thing. I spend too much time worrying over this girl. Yes, I have a ridiculous, intense liking for her, but whatever resolution that is going to come will not for quite some time. I need to learn grace and patience in the matter. I still think that in the end, we'll be together. I just need to stop thinking it's going to happen tomorrow or today. I need to relax.

On a much happier note, basketball season is breathing down my neck like some creepy homeless guy desiring my ice cream. We have our exhibition tomorrow, and for the first time in my student career, we have actual regular season home games during fall quarter! I can't explain how exciting that is. I used to have to wait until January to get my Convo on. Not this year! And have I mentioned I get to lead the scoreboard chant this year? Oh yes. It will be a wonderful season. Basketball is a perfect thing to allow me to forget about things that actually matter. Here's to the bread!

Random: In an interview, President Bush called it "The Google."

I need to get some reading in the Malcom X biography out of the way this weekend. It has to be read for my history final. Good times. And I should have a couple new things up on Newsvine this weekend as well, if things go to plan. But for now, I'm hungry.