Oh, Rafa

You have a machismo I haven't seen since Razor Ramon. You have women actually screaming uncontrollably in your wake. I touched you last year and might have gotten a temporary testosterone increase.

None of that excuses this:

I don't know if it's you or Nike- I suspect Nike- but your wardrobe choices this year have been positively brutal. You don't have to go back to the pirata look if you don't want to. At least look less like some neon alien, OK?