We the People, In Order to Form a More Perfect Sports League

Being a sports fan is what used to define me. Heck, to many people, my sports fandom is still what defines me¹. It's no coincidence; I love most sports, playing or watching. I used to memorize everything I could about the Indians. I've been known to disappear from society during Grand Slam events. I even cover basketball as a beat.
But in recent years, my enthusiasm has ebbed. There are a number of reasons for this. ESPN's dominance of everything sport has proven irksome, as has the obnoxiousness of fans in general. These are, however, minor annoyances I could probably deal with. What I find extremely off-putting is the antagonizing nature of the athletes and owners. Despite the facts these teams and leagues exist because of the fans, players, owners, and leagues treat fans like crap. Athletes regard fans with contempt, as wannabes that are jealous of their talent, fame, and fortune². Owners and leagues look at fans as cash cows to be milked for everything they're worth. We lose at every turn.

It's one thing to be subjected to MLB's ridiculous blackout rules or NFL season ticket holders being forced to but preseason tickets. Yeah, it's annoying and a little bit of a mugging, but most will gnash their teeth and deal with it. It's entirely another thing for leagues and owners to hold cities and taxpayers hostage in order to procure sweetheart deals that make the mega-rich even richer.

This is nothing new. New baseball stadia have been springing up all over America the last 15 years after every team rattled the pauper's cup. If a city hesitated, Bug Selig would swoop in and suggest a different city would be willing to foot the bill for a new palace the organization so clearly deserved. No matter if that team actually won, of course. They must have a new stadium, and when they get it, the wins will come with it. I need not cite anything that disproves that stupid argument; I need only to point in the general direction of Pittsburgh.

Then we come to the sad tale of the Seattle Sonics, and how the great fans there got totally abused by the ownership, David Stern, and eventually the city.

The straw that breaks the camel's back comes from Miami. I remember my trip there last year and seeing a number of people angry about the prospect of a new stadium for the Marlins. They didn't want what they characterized as a bailout for the team. I didn't know much about it, and most of the people that were against it were poor, so I thought that perhaps it was only the lower classes that were opposed to the idea.

Turns out they were on to something. Reports have come in detailing the way the Marlins management completely hoodwinked the city and county government, crying poor while pocketing deep profits and finagling a deal that will cost taxpayers $2.4 billion. Yeah. Billion. What makes this all the sadder is that this is only the latest episode in what has become a long-running series. Owners start to complain they're not making any money and that their venue is outdated. They threaten to leave the area, pitting local governments against fans that do not want to see their team leave³. They manage to procure a new building at little personal expense but get to keep the vast majority of the profits generated from it. This is the pattern. This is the playbook.

Do we see the problem with this? Because I do. We do not exist to pour money into the coffers of sports ownership. If they want to upgrade their facilities, they should do it themselves. If you want to make the argument that the city should chip in because it benefits from these teams, fine. But these men (not women) need to start paying their fair share, especially in these tough times.

Until they get a reality check, I'm done. These greedy people will get no more of my money. I will continue to support the ATP, as they have the crazy idea of financing themselves. But the NBA, MLB? Done. I'll go so far as to steal from them at every opportunity, just because they do it to us. We need to stand up and let them know they won't build a fortune off our tax money. I'll take a step forward. Consider coming with me.

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1 This is something I embraced in the past. Now it's something I'm trying to shed.

2 They are right at least some of the time. The cutthroat nature of fandom these days does nothing to endear a player to anyone.

3 Why is it that so many of the people that happily agree to pay more in taxes to build new arenas rail against school levies and social programs?

Lost and Found

I lost my iPod a little while back. I was originally despondent, as I brought the thing everywhere with me. I listened to it walking places. I listened to it driving anywhere. I used it as a way of shutting out the world, drawing inward. Plus, I was just really used to listening to music wherever I went. I searched somewhat frantically (and fruitlessly) for it.


I didn't know what to do. I couldn't justify the expense of buying a new MP3 player¹. Do I... dare go outside... without headphones? This concept may seem laughably simple to some, but I had been musically accompanied for almost eight years. I purchased a nice and pricey set of noise-canceling headphones last year. The idea of getting around with no soundtrack was nigh-unfathomable.

But, again, I'm tight with my money. So I had to bite the bullet and deal with the sounds the world around me produced.

The result? Not exactly revolutionary. I'm certainly more aware of traffic, but the difference has not been great. I've replaced the music with my inner monologue, mostly. Still, it is kind of nice. I feel more at ease walking around, more attached to the world. Perhaps in some small way, it's forcing me to hide from my surroundings a little less. I don't look at my feet as much as I did.

The problem is when I'm driving around. Not locally; I replaced the iPod with NPR some time before losing it. However, when I'm leaving the Athens area, I don't have an easy supply of music. I have to depend on radio or dig out CDs to play. I don't like that. That's the thing that might drive me to buying a new MP3 player.

As it turns out, though, I was wrong overall. I thought losing it would be a catastrophe. It hasn't been. In fact, I've hardly noticed. I don't have to worry about keeping it charged or not losing it (ironically). It's a tiny life lesson: I can easily misjudge what I consider important.

Postnote: As I was writing this, I mentioned the topic to my friend. Her response, paraphrased: She would die if she lost her iPod. You know? I think she'd do just fine.

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1 This had the hidden benefit of completely divesting myself of Apple products. Suck it, Apple.

Pro? Am?

I'm pretty sure everyone who watches sports, at some point, has wanted to be a professional athlete. And 99% of those people had delusions of becoming a pro athlete. I'll share when the dream died for me.

We had a weekly tennis club in middle school. We would play on the parking lot behind school with these crappy nets. There were four or five courts, I think, and the courts were arranged in a hierarchy. The worst players were on the far left, the best players on the far right. By the time eighth grade was over, I was the best player on the best court. To me, it stood to reason that I was going to move on to high school, be the best player on the high school team, go to college, become the best player there, then move into the pros. I never said it had any ground in reality.

So my freshman year, I had my first match of my career against Chagrin Falls. I was playing second doubles. One of the opposing players showed up wearing jeans that were a little tight and a little short, and there was a pack of Camel Lights sticking out of one of the pockets. He and his partner proceeded to clean our clocks. My pro aspirations ended that day.

I watch a lot of pro tennis and follow it pretty closely, and on more than one occasion, I wish I was there on tour. Lately, though, I've been thinking: Is that really the best scenario?

To get to the professional ranks, you have to have a singular focus. How many pro athletes are well-rounded people? It doesn't seem to be a high number. Baseball players, for some reason, seem to be particularly stupid. Pro athletes essentially live on another planet. They have money beyond the dreams of most and do not interact with the common man, usually. They exist separate from the rest of humanity. It's extremely difficult for them to stay grounded. How many athletes go broke soon after retiring because they couldn't manage their money? How many get busted for drugs because they need the rush?

It might not be worth it. A sports career doesn't really contribute much to the human race, all things considered. There might be an Arthur Ashe or Muhammed Ali that comes along every once in a while, but they're rare. I feel like I'm more connected to humanity, better well-rounded, more intelligent than the average professional sportsman. I feel like I have the opportunity to do things to really make the world better, and that I don't have contempt for the common man that rich athletes do.

I'm not saying I wouldn't join the ATP if I was offered the opportunity. I'm also not saying I'm better off the way I am. But perhaps the life of the pro athlete is not as awesome as we'd like to think, and maybe our "common" lives are better than we realize.

Kids and Their Rock'N'Roll

I write this at the risk that I sound old and curmudgeon-y at the tender age of 25.

I've come to the determination that either the current crop of kids suck, or the music that defines them does. Possibly both. Music is the medium that really defines a generation. Movies try, but they don't. How many times have you really watched a movie and thought, "Yeah, I really feel like this is my life"? More importantly, how many times do you look back at a movie and think that? Now how many times do you look back at the music you listened to when you were in middle/high school and feel like that music reflected your world view or mindset?

I realize I'm not exactly breaking new ground here. But if you look at the 90s, you can see how the young generation looked at life. They were angry. They were confused. They didn't know what to do, but they knew who they were blaming. Nirvana still resonates to this day, even though it was a corporate production¹. Pearl Jam is still doing its thing, and they're still beloved. People still identify with them. You know the mentality of the alt-rock crowd. You know the mentality of the ska crowd². What's the zeitgeist of pop and rock music today? Kind of ugly.

If I'm missing something, please correct me. But I just see it today and it's just... nothing. Maybe it's just a logical extension of the increasing jadedness of Americans. Maybe it's the logical extension of the consumerism and lack of meaning we find with aspects of society. Maybe they're distracted. I just think it's pretty sad, the prospect of Fall Out Boy being the voice of a generation.

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1 I think that's a real tribute to the talent of the people involved.

2 If you listen to ska, which doesn't have wide appeal.

Have Cake, Will Eat

Anyone who knows me at least a little knows I spend the vast majority of my time single. And, once upon a time¹, it's something I whined a lot about. I sort of got suckered in by seeing romance on TV and movies, sadly. I felt like I was missing out on the human experience by not having a girl to do things hand-in-hand with.

Oh, but I had a plan. I was going to go to college, meet my wife, get married, and start life from there. It was beautiful, simple, and guaranteed to work. As you can likely ascertain, that did not happen. I'm sure the 18-year-old version of myself would have considered this a failure at life. The current version does not share that opinion.

If anything, I've grown accustomed to, and perhaps even come to expect, the single life. At heart, I'm an independent person. I want to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don't want to have to account for my whereabouts with someone else or have to worry about another person's schedule or opinion when figuring out what I want to do².

When you're in a relationship, the primary price you pay is your freedom³. I've had it for so long, I don't know what I would do without it. That would be a huge adjustment for me. I'm an American, right? Am I not supposed to cherish freedom? Freedom and guns? A subset of that is the expectations. You're expected to "check in" every so often, whether you want to or not. I bristle at that.

I've always wondered why so many people end up pairing off. I find it hard (if not impossible) to believe everyone is happy in a marriage/lifetime relationship. Why do it? Tax benefit? Societal pressure? Fear of living alone? Child rearing? I don't know. Maybe I'll ask the next miserable-looking couple I see⁴.

I'm at that age where more and more friends are getting married. This scares the crap out of me. Are you people all insane? What is wrong with you? My best friend has been married for more than a year and a half now. I don't know how his head has stayed attached to his neck. Someone very prominent in my life recently intimated to me his/her future husband/wife is his/her current boy/girlfriend. My first thought? "No! This can't be! I'm not ready for this!" How do you people do it?

I've yet to have an actual adult relationship, so maybe I have it all wrong. I've had flings- more than I thought I would- and I won't deny they were fun. Perhaps I enjoy the thrill of something new. Maybe when it comes down to it, I'm terrified of a committed relationship and I subconsciously pick girls I know it can't work with or I sabotage it. I don't know, but it's an interesting theory.

I've gotten used to my life as it is. If anything, a girl coming along for the first time annoys me more than anything else. This is for a couple reasons: 1. I expect things to fail. 2. It messes up my routine, such as it is. Suddenly, I have to start thinking about that other person. I have to try talking to them⁵, which means I have to start putting other things around it. It's annoying, but I feel like I have to at least try⁶. I mean, hey, there's a girl, and I'm interested... something good might happen, right? Right? So then I find annoyed at the girl for being the reason I'm changing things up. Of course, she's completely innocent in the matter and never did anything wrong to deserve such feelings. As a result, I get even more annoyed at myself for being annoyed. It's a nice little circle.

In other words, I don't want to try, except I do. And I want things to change, but stay exactly to same. That's not asking too much.

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1 High school. I have no idea why anyone put up with me back then; I was insufferable.

2 Like last summer when I went to Cincy for three days to see the tennis tournament. I didn't tell anyone. I just went. That's freedom you can't buy.

3 But considering how few people choose to be single for life, it must be worth it. Still, I find that a bit crazy.

4 I could launch a full sociological study at the Athens County Fair alone.

5 But not too much! And not too enthusiastically! It's beyond stupid.

6 Otherwise, I have cousins thinking I'm gay.

A Couple More Football Thoughts

Something I didn't really think about is that there really isn't anything to watch on Sunday afternoon if you're not going to watch football¹. I'll consider it a nudging from God to read more.

My cousin Logan is seven. He's pretty big for a kid his age². His father, Scott, is one of those insane sport parents. For instance: Logan was playing basketball a couple years ago and there was a kid who was scoring on Logan a lot, apparently. Scott's solution? To tell Logan to knock the kid over. Being a good kid, Logan did as his dad told him, plowed through the child, and got kicked out of the game. Crying commenced.

Scott has Logan playing football. Being a big boy, Logan plays on the line. One day before a game, the coach said to him, “Are you gonna play football today, or are you going to be a little bitch?³” I would have removed the man's vocal cords. But did anybody say anything? No, because that's football. That's just how it is. I mean, seriously. This is out of control, and we need to get a grip. We need to say it's unacceptable to call little kids a bitch. Sports do not make it acceptable.

Oh, by the way, Logan doesn't want to play football anymore. He says it's not fun. I wonder why? He may be big enough to be a football player one day, but he's a sweet kid that just likes to giggle and goof around. This is not something to be discouraged.

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1 Unless I develop an interest in pro bowling. In that case, I'm set.

2 Or even for a 10-year-old. I can barely pick him up anymore.

3 May I remind you that he is SEVEN YEARS OLD?

There Are Good Things Happening in the World, Right?

I'm pretty happy that Valentine's Day has passed us by for another year. Not because I'm single; I haven't had anyone to celebrate the holiday with since 2001, so I'm pretty used to it. And, believe it or not, I'm not taking the opportunity to whine about it like many people are. Fundamentally, I'm for things that promote and foster love. A day that recognizes it is a good thing in my book. No, my problem with Valentine's Day this year was something far, far more sinister.

CVS, in all its corporate opportunism glory, had a cavalcade of cheap crap for people to buy. Apparently, if your relationship was worth $3-$15 dollars, you were coming to me and buying your stuffed monkies and heart-shaped chocolate boxes. And if you were feeling especially demonstrative, you could buy some helium balloons. Some of them- for the low, low price of $13!- actually played music. There were two songs that the balloons played, one of them being "You're Still the One." Now, that's cute, right? What if you heard it 20-30 times a day, four days a week? After a month of that, you're willing to buy the balloons yourself just to get them out of the store. Of course, nobody was buying them because they were absurdly priced for balloons. So people would make them play the little song snippet again, and again, and again. I was ready to jab my own ear drums.

Of course, nothing says Valentine's Day like a sex scandal. But this isn't really a sex scandal as it is just weird. A teacher in Sweden was convicted of sexual harassment for flashing her breasts at a student. But the teacher claims it was for... disciplinary reasons? The story features one of the greatest lines I've ever read: "The teacher, 47, claimed that she had only revealed her breasts in reaction to the boy's provocative doodles and that there was nothing sexual about the act." Oh. She had to pay damages to the kid as part of her sentence. So the kid got to see a woman's breasts and get paid for it. On the downside, he can only go down from here.
Other headlines on the site: "Teacher charged in sex for grades scandal," "Victory for topless bathers," "Police get a grip on serial masturbator." Maybe I should bookmark.

South Korea had one of its big historic landmarks consumed by fire, and it looks to be intentional. Sad. Why set an old wooden structure ablaze? Maybe it's the historian in me, but stuff like that we need to keep around if we can.
Also, do we really need story highlights from CNN when it takes two minutes to read? Are we really that ADD? Geez.
While we're on CNN, a former Khmer Rouge commander died Friday. We're bound to see more of the former communist faction dying off pretty soon; it's been 29 years since their reign ended. For no particular reason, I remember a New York Times headline declaring the death of Pol Pot. What strikes me about this article is that this particular person, like many in the Khmer, were never brought to justice for their crimes. Instead, he fled to the jungle... and eventually joined the Cambodian government, even becoming a general in the army.
What. The. Heck? Where's the UN on that one? I mean, they knew about the killing fields, right? They didn't miss that one, did they? General in the army? And the people were OK with this? (Probably not.) Furthermore, why is this new knowledge? Isn't this something everyone should know about? I bet I could go out on a given day and ask 100 people if they know what the Khmer Rouge is... I'll give you an over/under that seven know of it. Of course, it didn't involve white people, so it's not taught in our schools.
By the way, there are still Nazis in hiding. They still refuse to confess to their crimes. At least they're being sort of dealt with.

And while there are a lot of poorly-run NGO's out there, I have to give it to the World Health Organization for its head-on efforts against tobacco worldwide. They're really focusing on limiting tobacco use in the poorer nations of the world, as the poorest tend to smoke a lot. Also, remind me not to go to Greece- 59% of men there smoke daily? Yuh-uck. And maybe the UN should ban smoking on its headquarters. Just a thought.
Probably the thing I really hate most about my job is selling cigarettes. I want to tell everyone that wants to by them, "No." It makes me sick sometimes. Stop it, please. Just stop. It's such a worthless, dumb thing to do.

And the Westboro Baptist Church, everyone's favorite pious protesters, has notified everyone they will be picketing the funerals of the NIU victims. In my mind, they've crossed the line from villains to pitiable figures. Their absolute hate for the world, frankly, is sad. They're so far gone they can't see the world anymore. Such unadulterated hatred is Satan's domain. If you didn't know, they're all lawyers. They use their controversy and attention-mongering techniques to lure people into doing something they can be sued for.
I can only hope there is enough good out there to counterbalance institutions like Westboro.

January Sucked

It's true. But it's over, so I guess things are looking up? But yeah, few things went right that month.

I just found out that my friends called off their engagement, which broke my heart. On the plus side, if there is one, I might have a new roommate... not that such an event is something to celebrate even if it means getting TR off his rent. Also, been talking to another friend and I've gotten to hear about how the guy she'd been with for about a year and a half was seeing someone behind her back... bleh. Really, just terrible. I just hope things go better this month. They almost have to, right? Whatever. At least the Bobcats have won four straight.

Remember my reflections on being someone who doesn't drink? Well, I was YouTubing and came across this clip of Jim Gaffigan riffing on the same topic. Kinda cool.

Also, I still haven't gotten over the awesomeness of the new Southeast Engine album. One of my favorites already.

Going to see "There Will be Blood" tonight. Very excited for the experience that is Daniel Day-Lewis.

Public Drunkenness and a Citrus Sunburst

Last night, I was relating the tale of the waiter at Rio Grande trying to induce me to drink a shot of tequila and Tep's subsequent argument that I should've taken it, well, just because. I don't know if I qualify as a teetotaler; I can count the number of drinks I've had since I turned 21, though. My decision not to drink really doesn't have a solid reason (we speculate that's why Tep has such a hard time understanding why I don't) aside from the fact I don't drink pop either. Beer isn't good for you, and I try not to drink things that aren't good for you. Oh, if I could only apply that to food...

I take a very ambivalent view toward drinking. I don't like drunkenness, but aside from that, I really don't care if you drink or not. The problem with that is that I'm in college. People expect me to drink. It's as if they want me to drink. When I mention that I go to OU to some people, they give me the whole, "Oh, you guys party pretty hard down there, huh?" I tell them that I don't, and they tend to not believe me. For some reason, doctors are especially skeptical of this. But... whatever. Believe me or don't.

The real interesting thing in my experience has been telling other people in school with me that I don't drink. Some are fine with it. Others get borderline angry, asking what makes me think I'm so special that I won't have a beer. Uh, nothing. I just don't want it. I don't want a giraffe either, but I don't see you getting upset about that. Still others will try and get me to take a drink as if I've never experienced peer pressure before. No, really. I'm fine with my decision. No, just because you give me the "c'mon" voice doesn't mean I'll change my mind.

At the same time, I can see where some people get defensive. Some people do have some measure of guilt about the fact they drink, and I see where they would find someone else not drinking irksome. Along the same vein, there's really no good way to say, "I don't drink." Try it. Didn't you just sound a little uppity? I've tried to minimize this over the years. I decided the best way to say it is apologetically, like I feel bad about. "Sorry, I don't drink. I know. I feel bad about it too." Usually, you have to justify your decision for some reason. I've never understood this. Why do I have to defend the fact I'm not doing something that really adds nothing to my life? It's not like I'm not getting a driver's license or anything. Furthermore, why is it that people who do drink don't have to justify it? I don't get it. Either way, I have a myriad of excuses: Medication, blood donation, the idea of liquid bread is unappealing. I've tried just shrugging my shoulders and saying I just don't dig it, but that just seems to confuse people. Furthermore, people seem more puzzled about my not drinking after I turned 21. I guess they can understand it if I'm underage, but now that I'm legal, I'm not fulfilling my duties as an American.

Like I mentioned, there are those people who seem determined to get you to down some alcohol at some point. I don't get these people either. I'm not forcing you to play ultimate frisbee, why try to force me to do this? However, they're infinitely more amusing. I encountered them mainly during my time at The Post. They seemed enthralled by the novelty of some freshman not drinking at first. They pledged this wouldn't continue. Typical statements included, "I didn't drink at first, either" and "The Post will drive you to drinking." Well, it didn't. All it did was destroy my self-confidence and leave me angry and bitter. Good trade. Some people even offered me money to have a can of something. In retrospect, I'm not sure I made the wise decision in turning them down.

I do have to say, though, that being the non-drinker usually makes you stand out at a party. And most likely, you're not having much fun- I never did. The immortal Bryson Turner described it best:
I'd go to a party and a girl would offer me a drink. I'd say, "Oh, no, I don't drink."

"Oh, wow. That is so cool. I respect that so much." (turns around) "Hey, you want a beer? Cool. You want to have sex later? Oh, don't worry, I just found someone to complain about you to."

I guess we all have our place in the world.

Also, I'm annoyed neither Wal-Mart nor Kroger have refills for my Air Wick. Darn it, I want fresh-smelling air! I'll have to use the $1 Renuzit things in the interim, I suppose. But if you find any Air Wick air fresheners (not the oil), especially citrus-scented... hook me up.

Spin it Fast, Spin it Straight

The other day, someone asked me what I thought people's greatest misconception is about me. It's an interesting question and worth thinking about. So obviously, I gave it some thought.

I decided that people don't get what I'm saying often and take it the wrong way. Most commonly, people often think I'm joking when I'm serious and think I'm serious when I'm joking. When people take something I mean seriously as a joke, it's often just an annoyance for me. When it happens the other way 'round, it can cause some problems for me.
Admittedly, this is mostly my fault. I use sarcasm so often and so fluidly, most people don't know when I'm being sarcastic and when I'm not. It's something I try to do, to be less sarcastic. But it's hard because I've done it for so long. It's been a defensive mechanism for so long, I can't just flip a switch, however much I want to.

The other side of the problem is that people often don't take what I say at face value. If you know me, you know I'm a straight shooter. I come right out. I say what I mean. Now, there's a difference between saying you speak your mind and you use that as a shield to insult others, and I hope I'm on the right side of that.
But people often look for an angle or a meaning or the "truth" behind what I say... and there isn't really one. This happens with women especially. They can't seem to accept that I'm an honest person, that I actually mean what I say. I've been told they're naturally suspicious of guys because they're used to being lied to... so essentially, I get punished for doing things the right way. And it sucks because people will attach meaning I never intended on to things I say. I observe and I note... and often, that's all there is to it. But people don't believe that to be true, so it makes interactions harder with people (again, especially women. They always seem to think there's something "more").

So... honestly, I don't know what to do. I could start lying, I guess, but that's a pretty large compromise of my character. And how do I "prove" I'm honest? How do I prove I'm not angling for anything? This sort of thing gets me into trouble all the time, and I don't know how to stop it. Most often, people takes it to mean that I'm hitting on/flirting with people... I'm usually not. Maybe that's why I find a fair number of my friends falling for me. I don't know.

I Hate Christmas?

Wow, it's been a month? Sorry about that. Anyway... Despite the May-like temperatures here in Twinsburg, Christmas season is upon us like Shasta on a dropped pepperoni. We all know what that means: Christmas lights, increases in suicide attempts, awkward office parties, Egg Nog, conversations about how toys were better when we were kids, and people regularly casting aspersions upon me because I "hate" Christmas.

That, of course, is silly. If something involves Jesus, I'm for it, generally speaking. To borrow from Allen Iverson, "We're not talking about Jesus. We're not talking about Jesus. We're talking about Christmas. Christmas?" I just don't go along with the American Christmas culture. For some, that means I hate the holiday. So be it, but I like to see myself as a critical thinker and I'm going to question and reject some of the commonly-held notions of the holiday.

So in that vein, here's my views on Christmas:

- I don't like getting beaten over the head with things, and I don't like being told what is the "correct" way to do something. If you know me, you know I lash out at that when it happens to me. Now that the holiday is starting to encroach on Halloween, it's simply too much. It's overwhelming. And the people that tell me how I ought to embrace the so-called Christmas spirit and celebrate it the same way they do... shut up. Just because it means something different to me than it does to you does not mean you're "better" at it than I am. Get over yourself.

- Sorry, but December 25 is not Jesus' birthday. The holiday is celebrated when it is because the Catholic church put it there to compete with a popular pagan festival. I don't have a problem with that, but facts are facts. "Well, don't you want to celebrate the birth of the Savior?" Of course I do, but I don't need a specific date to do it, and I don't know why you do, either. Aren't we supposed to revere Him 365(6) days a year? You don't get extra credit for Christmas. It just fits into the social mores of our culture that we loooove our birthdays. Besides, the birth itself isn't quite as important as the death, the resurrection, or the ascension. So why isn't Easter given the same treatment?

- I don't hate Christmas music. I really don't. However, I'm not going to like said music just because it's Christmas. That philosophy applies to everything, by the way. I don't like poop more just because it came from Shasta instead of a deer. There is some really, really good Christmas music out there. The Charlie Brown Christmas album and Trans-Siberian Orchestra spring to mind immediately. I could listen to that all year. The problem... well, there's two problems. The first is that for many years, my house was playing the Harry Connick Jr. Christmas CD on a constant loop, which is ear-bleeding bad. That's not going to make someone like Christmas music. The second is that you have the same 15 songs being played, except there's 500 different versions of them that really aren't different at all. Remember what I said about being beaten over the head? The original versions of many of those songs are still the best and still fantastic. Give me those, and throw the rest out. No, we don't need A Britney Spears Christmas. Spare me.

- The Christmas specials. Please, stop. It's too much. I get it: Some guy is a high-powered whatever who is making money at the cost of his family. Something happens and he realizes the importance of his family and that the money really doesn't matter. Great. Now stop making 10 movies with that theme. Just like the music, it's all recycled crap. Give me something original, please. Isn't this a wonderful holiday? Can't we think of something new? As terrible a movie as "Love Actually" is, at least it did something different with the Christmas theme. I'll give it that much. There's a reason everyone watches "A Charlie Brown Christmas," "It's a Wonderful Life," "A Christmas Story," and the Patrick Stewart-led "A Christmas Carol" over and over (and for those of us that know enough, "Scrooged."): They're good movies or TV. They're enjoyable, and they happen to work the Christmas theme in. Even if it was about, say, a rodeo, they would probably still be good.

- Christmas decorations... this can go either way. If you haven't seen that awesome display from last year, just search for "Christmas lights" on YouTube. It's amazing. The thing here is that... it seems like people are trying to prove they have more "Christmas" spirit by throwing up more decorations than their neighbor. That sort of thing annoys me. Plus, it's really bothersome when someone's porch is filled with crap and you're trying to drop off a package. It's just like throwing on a sweater with trees on it just to show everyone else how into it you are. I guess I just don't like posers.

- Gift giving. I'll skip the whole consumer corporate culture thing. We all know that story. On my mom's side of the family, we do a secret Santa thing. Everyone knows how it works. The part that bothers me is that these are people I see once or twice a year, so when I get it, it doesn't really mean anything. I'm required to provide a list. All that's happening is that somebody is choosing something from my list (and is under the $25 limit), and I'm doing the same. We hand it to each other, essentially just buying something for someone when we all could have gotten it for ourselves and saved time. The actual exchange of the gifts is meaningless. It's a soulless procedure.
Really, I don't like the concept of a Christmas list. If you have to ask me what I want, you don't really know me. You're just doing the legwork and I'm doing the thinking for you. If I want something bad enough, I'll get it myself. So there isn't anything come Christmastime I'm uber-excited about getting. That means, then, I want to be surprised. I want you to put some thought and effort into the process. I want it to mean something. Nothing means more to me than something I never thought of but you did.
I never ask someone what they want for Christmas. And if they tell me what they want, they're less likely to get it from me. I go out and I think and I look at stuff. I get it if it speaks to me and I think it is something that would resonate with the person. You never know what you're getting from me! Isn't that how it should be? Gifts from me are the end of a process and something that means something. It demonstrates I know you and I care.
I *love* giving gifts and frankly, I couldn't care much less about getting any in return. The greatest thing ever is a person saying, "Wow, that's really cool" to something I gave them. And that's the greatest present I could ask for (cheesy music).

- So there's this movie coming out, "Unaccompanied Minors." Apparently they get stuck in an airport overnight by themselves or something... I don't know. But the trailer promises that they will learn "the true meaning of Christmas." I will bet cash money that this meaning has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ. And guess what? THAT IS NOT THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. JESUS IS THE MEANING. I'm sure you've heard "the reason for the season." Well guess what? It's true. Christmas without Jesus (Christ, you know, as in Christmas) is like the 4th of July without the Constitution. It means nothing.
People are especially giving and generous this time of year (allegedly), which is great. But too many people are giving at Christmas and not the rest of the year. Charities have all they can handle at Christmas and not the rest of the year. This "true meaning" of Christmas should apply to the rest of the year. That's what it's really about. Somewhere, we lost that.
Also, I hate Santa Claus. I've been killed for this (especially by the future Mrs. Brownrigg), but I'm not afraid to say it. I wish he would go away. In fact, I'm resolved not to do this to my children. I have two thoughts on this:
1. I don't know why I get grief for choosing not to participate in institutional lying to kids.
2. It all goes back to the whole "reason for the season" thing. We're teaching kids Christmas is about getting presents and being good for rewards, not because of Jesus and the joy of giving (or being good because you're a kid and that's your only freaking job). In essence, we're teaching them the wrong things. I refuse to be a party to that. I will fail my future kids in enough ways anyway.

I think that's it. I hope that clears some things up and that you've thought about what I said here. My goal wasn't to try to persuade, just to establish my position on the matter.