The other day, someone asked me what I thought people's greatest misconception is about me. It's an interesting question and worth thinking about. So obviously, I gave it some thought.
I decided that people don't get what I'm saying often and take it the wrong way. Most commonly, people often think I'm joking when I'm serious and think I'm serious when I'm joking. When people take something I mean seriously as a joke, it's often just an annoyance for me. When it happens the other way 'round, it can cause some problems for me.
Admittedly, this is mostly my fault. I use sarcasm so often and so fluidly, most people don't know when I'm being sarcastic and when I'm not. It's something I try to do, to be less sarcastic. But it's hard because I've done it for so long. It's been a defensive mechanism for so long, I can't just flip a switch, however much I want to.
The other side of the problem is that people often don't take what I say at face value. If you know me, you know I'm a straight shooter. I come right out. I say what I mean. Now, there's a difference between saying you speak your mind and you use that as a shield to insult others, and I hope I'm on the right side of that.
But people often look for an angle or a meaning or the "truth" behind what I say... and there isn't really one. This happens with women especially. They can't seem to accept that I'm an honest person, that I actually mean what I say. I've been told they're naturally suspicious of guys because they're used to being lied to... so essentially, I get punished for doing things the right way. And it sucks because people will attach meaning I never intended on to things I say. I observe and I note... and often, that's all there is to it. But people don't believe that to be true, so it makes interactions harder with people (again, especially women. They always seem to think there's something "more").
So... honestly, I don't know what to do. I could start lying, I guess, but that's a pretty large compromise of my character. And how do I "prove" I'm honest? How do I prove I'm not angling for anything? This sort of thing gets me into trouble all the time, and I don't know how to stop it. Most often, people takes it to mean that I'm hitting on/flirting with people... I'm usually not. Maybe that's why I find a fair number of my friends falling for me. I don't know.
About Me
- Monty
- I am who I think I am, I am who you know I am, I am who I want to be, who I was, who I could be, who I can't be. I am.
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2 comments:
I don't think the main problem is your fault. I know some thing it's easy to blame society... but really. Look at the media, entertainment and the way most people in our generation treat one another. You're not alone in using sarcasm as a shield. People are incredibly skeptical these days, so it's hard to believe it when something really good comes along.
But I do agree that maybe you should try to tone down the sarcasm, a bit. You are much more sarcastic in person than you are on the phone or on the Internet. The problem is, when talking to you online, people automatically think you're going to be sarcastic, even though 90 percent of the time you are quite serious. But, being misinterpreted online happens to a lot of people -- IMs and e-mails are just plain tricky.
I find that I'm misunderstood more in person, though. For whatever reason, communicating myself is a lot easier over more impersonal media.
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