Not That I Pretend to Have Anything Figured Out, But...

Last night, the phone rang. This is a fairly seldom occurrence on its own, so I'm usually surprised when it happens. What nearly shocked me though was that "Immigrant Song" was playing from the phone. That's the ex-girlfriend's ringtone. I hadn't bothered to change it, because why would I? So I just sat there for a moment, making sure I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. Yep, sure was. I stared at the phone for a couple seconds. Should I answer it? Sure.

What followed amounted to an admission on her part. She had problems. She was doing things she shouldn't have been doing, and she realizes fully what that meant at last. There were people she hurt, so she wanted to apologize to those people.

I never expected an apology, so getting one was a pleasant surprise. Yeah, it felt good. If someone comes to me and I think they're contrite, I'm pretty quick to forgive. Some may say that's a bad thing, but I disagree with those people. If she's serious about fixing things, I want to help her in whatever way I can. I hope she can, because there's so much good that can come of it if she does.

In my hurry to get to tonight's basketball game- and by hurry, I mean arrive before the one hour to tip countdown started- I left my keys in the car. And for whatever reason, I liked it on the way out. And for pretty much the first time, I elected to do so by pressing the button on the door. I don't think I had ever done it that was before. Why did I do that? No idea. Possible subconscious sabotage, maybe. But I didn't even realize this until the game was over (four straight for the Cats!), so I had to tromp to Tim's place in the rain- wasn't good for my wig- and call the police to help me.

They came, but they couldn't get the door open. Phone calls were made, and a locksmith was found. The game probably ended in the 9:30 range, and this episode didn't resolve until about 12:45. Outstanding. Plus, whatever the police did trying to get the door open, the passenger door doesn't open from the outside anymore. For those of us keeping score, I've locked myself out of my car and my apartment in the span of 10 days. Go me.

Sometimes, Life is Pretty Wonderful

I just want to say, if you've never listened to Explosions in the Sky, you need to leave this blog now and do so. I can't recommend it enough or praise them enough. Their music is, quite simply, epic. I can't wait to turn off the lights, close my eyes, and just experience them. It's a rare treat.

I don't often have them, but Saturday was a genuinely good day. There was basketball (a too-close win over Ball State), there was helping a friend, and there was going to Casa Cantina at night to watch Southeast Engine play. A townie was really enjoying himself, running around, dancing, waving his drink glass around. People dancing in the middle, not well or technically but clearly just riding the moment. There's just something great about having a pint of raspberry wheat (good stuff!), jamming along with your friends to a great band. When we all screamed "whooooooa!" during "Where Are You Now?" it just felt... genuine, you know? Like this is one of the moments of life that you always will remember. It wasn't white-knuckle exciting, but it was the manifestation of something you can't fake. Having my oldest OU friend with me (among others), taking in an excellent performance by one of my favorite bands... it doesn't get a whole lot better than that, does it?

A Notice

Not that you care, but I've added labels to all of my posts. Some are more useful than others.

Just Wondering...

Would it be really wrong to say, "Why so serious?" at Heath Ledger's funeral?

Locking the Closed Door

It is interesting how your friends will hold people who have hurt you in the past in greater contempt than you do. Take Tim, for example. When I told him I was going to have lunch with an ex-girlfriend, his response was, "What is wrong with you? Do you just sit around thinking, 'What is the worst thing I can do today?'" While funny, it is also pretty harsh. Yeah, when that ex dumped me, it sucked. But I've gotten over it. We've talked many times since, even sat next to each other in a class we were both taking. I have no ill will toward her. Tim's not alone in his vitriol. Opp told me that he "hates" the girl, which seems to be a pretty extreme reaction. Considering what other girls have done to me, aborting a relationship early seems downright benign in comparison.

Anyway, she hadn't been to Rio Grande before. It being my favorite restaurant in Athens (free chips and salsa!), I suggested that be the place we go to. She got there at 1:15, and we left at about 4:30 (giving me precious little time to prepare for the beating of Kent State that was to start at 6). I was actually nervous about it beforehand; this was the first time we had specifically set aside time to hangout since we broke up almost two years ago. Would it be awkward? What were we going to talk about?

As it turned out, my fears were unfounded. Our conversation spanned a wide array of topics and at no point was there an awkward pause. I had forgotten how easy it was to talk with her. Excepting Tim and possibly Melissa, I don't know of anyone else I have an easier time talking to. Furthermore, I've yet to meet another girl with whom I relate to on as many levels and issues. That makes for pretty easy talking. We did touch the topic of our relationship. I had no intentions on bringing it up, but she alluded to it and my curiosity moved it. She said she didn't feel that we were clicking. And you know what? I can respect that. No problem. Yeah, I felt blindsided by it (she said that was really painful for her), but if that's how it has to be, I can deal. Besides, it's been a while since that happened. I didn't think about it, but it was nice to have that final closure on things.

I'm still not quite sure what to make of this, but she told me I'm the most interesting, fascinating person she's ever met, and I would be very difficult to top. Yet she has no feelings for me beyond that of a friend. So it goes for me, I guess, always missing the pitch just enough to foul it off instead of hitting it into the stands. She said she wanted someone more extroverted and someone she could dance with. Little did I know that the joke I've cracked about that was true! I'm weirdly insightful on accident sometimes. Thinking about it, I could very easily marry someone like her and be very happy. But not her.

I can't say I'm out looking for someone like her. Even on its face, that would be foolish; I haven't met anyone else quite like her. More than anything else, it's nice to know it is possible to transition back to being friends, that the ground doesn't have to be burned behind you. We'll do a lunch again, I'm sure, and have a great time. That's what friends do.