Still Holding on for Dear Life

Man, my family is exciting. My father spent most of the day sleeping on the couch and my mother watching dumb stuff on TLC. Me? I bought face paint.
So it's December 29. When did that happen? I saw someone mention that in four days, we'll be back in Athens. And you know, that never really hit me. I had thought about it (sort of), but not like that. Now it's, "Holy crap!" It's not that I don't want to go to Athens, but dang, it's almost catching me by surprise.
There are, of course, things I am very much looking forward to and anticipating in the upcoming quarter. Naturally, basketball season has me seriously pumped. I'm taking a slate of classes that I think I will enjoy. Heck, I'll even have a car. Yes, thanks to Ashley's woeful grades last semester, I'm getting the Escape. Wee! I'm getting the beds debunked, so maybe I can actually get a decent night's sleep. I'm also bringing down a few items to make the place feel a little homier for me. And last (but certainly not least), I have in my possession a George Foreman grill. Oh yeah.
But there are things that concern me. A certain girl could make things more difficult than they need to be. Mind you, she shouldn't, and I really see no reason why she should. But it's still something I'm scared of. For good reason? I don't know. It's just not something I'm doing a good job dealing with, and I don't even know why! It's all very strange. But... whatever. If she's going to pull crap, I'll deal with it somehow. I have more important things to worry about than her.
One such thing is me inching closer and closer to graduation. And there's two things with that: I don't know what I'm doing come June. I really have no idea. People ask, and I have nothing to tell them. I have things I want to do, but I don't have anything I'm going to do. Plus, there's the very real fear for me that I'm going to fail. I'm terrified of myself. I don't think I can do this. I've convinced myself I'm going to let everyone down, that I'm going to fall flat on my face (if I haven't already yet and just haven't realized it).
And if I may digress for a moment, this is part of the reason I'm convinced I can't make anything work with women. I feel like I bring nothing palpable to the table, and I'm far too dependent. I need it, yet nobody in their right mind would take someone as screwed up as me. These are things I actually think about on a constant basis. This is why they always bail after a few weeks. They start to see the truth. Welcome to manic depression.
I suppose it's not all gloom and doom. There is tomorrow's game against UC tomorrow at The Q. That should be fun (especially if we win).

I don't know. Everything is either coming together or falling apart. I just can't tell which. It would be a big boost to me, though, if Jessica enjoys what I sent her earlier this week.