Good, Clean. Messy Fun

This was a "The Whirling Dervish" piece, originally published April 26, 2005.


One of the great things about going home is digital cable. This isn’t to say that the HBO and movie channels in the dorms aren’t great, but the variety of the additional seven million extra channels (that’s an approximate total) can’t be beat.

And while Nickelodeon is so awful now it’s practically unwatchable, Generation Y has been thrown a couple digital bones. That’s right, The First Network for Kids has a channel dedicated exclusively to the great game shows of the ’90s. Called Nick GaS (Get it?  Games and sports.), it has them all: Nick Arcade, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Figure it Out, GUTS, a show that featured Mike O’Malley when he still acted like he cared, and the king of them all, Double Dare.

For those who were unfortunate and never had the chance to watch it, here’s a rundown of a typical show:

There are two teams, the red team and the blue team. The show would start with the two teams facing off with some sort of competition. It could be any sort of competition, but it was always messy, such as breaking water balloons over a person’s head or dipping a sponge in some mush and trying to throw it through a hole.

When one team won the face-off, the two squads would then move to separate podiums. The winning team would be the first to get asked a question by host Marc Summers.  The team could answer the question or “dare” the other team to answer it, doubling the point total. The other team has the same option, to answer or to “double dare” the original team to answer, tripling the original question’s point value. The team had one final choice to make. They could answer the question or take a physical challenge.

The physical challenges were part of what made Double Dare so great. There were major points at stake – if the team failed, the opposing team would get them, so slacking was not an option. Again, the challenges were a bit on the silly side, and the main object was to make as big a mess as possible, but it was a lot of fun to watch.

After two rounds of this, the team with the higher point total was declared the winner.  The winning team then had the opportunity to tackle the obstacle course.

For anyone who remembers the show, the obstacle course was an awesome thing. The team had one minute to try and pass through eight obstacles. At the end of each, the player had to grab a flag and pass it to his/her teammate. Each completed obstacle came with a prize, including a grand prize at the end.

Some of the obstacles were easy and some were hard. But there was always one make-or-break obstacle in the middle that almost always determined whether or not the team would win.  Found in the middle of the course, it was usually something like a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich that the flag was hidden in. If the flag was found quickly, the team was in good shape. But more often than not, the contestant flailed helplessly through the mess, unable to find the small orange flag.

It was all very simple, but it worked perfectly. The formula was tinkered with, as there was a family version later on and a “Super Sloppy” edition as well, but the basics remained the same. It is a highly recommended watch even today, but not the lame Double Dare 2000.

In fact, the question must be asked: Why aren’t there shows like this today? When it was on, all kids wanted to be on Double Dare. It looked like so much fun. Who watches Fear Factor and says, “You know, I could really go for some bull testicle?” Why does the emphasis have to be on humiliation and not plain fun? And aside from classics like The Price is Right, it’s not seen anymore on television.

Another relic of the show is the hosts themselves. Summers was the perfect choice to host it, even if you can see the obsessive-compulsive disorder he suffered from twist his face into agony at times. The announcer, Harvey, was a very blue-collar man – bald and bearded with big glasses and unimpressive blue jeans. He wasn’t the sassy, sexy announcer a new game show would feature today. Instead he was genuine and warm. He was appreciated. Aside from her looks, who appreciated Brooke Burns on Dog Eat Dog?

Perhaps on a higher level, the comparison can be made to all television today. We are force fed “edgy” programming with a dearth of quality, instead of silly, simple, fun things everyone can appreciate and enjoy. Maybe all those digital cable channels are a blessing after all. They provide an escape route from network programming to things actually worth watching.