Love is Not a Science

I was reading an article from Psychology Today the other day about compatibility and chemistry. I enjoy reading it; it's a good read for lay people like myself, and they touch on a wide variety of topics. Anyway, this article talked about what chemistry between two people really is, if it's something that comes natural or if it's made, how to keep it... that sort of thing. At the end, they had a number of quotes from psychologists and other people about the topic. Again, interesting stuff. But one stuck in my craw: Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony.com, said for a couple to be compatible, the two people must be within one standard deviation of intelligence.

And that statement really chafes at me. I'm sure you've seen the commercials of eHarmony with the really, really amazingly happy couples. You've probably been annoyed by them as well. And that Warren guy... kinda creepy, right? Anyway, if you ever wanted to get on that site, they have you answer a 258-question personal assessment. 258? Good gravy. They use the answers from your questions to set you up with matches.

I'm sure other sites do so in a similar manner (I haven't exactly been crawling the Web looking for e-dating), so this is probably just symbolic of everything else. But love is not a mathematical formula. It can't be rationalized, and it can't be put into a neat little box like people such as Warren apparently want to do. He didn't say couples should be within a standard deviation of intelligence, he said they must be. Many times, love doesn't make sense, and there's no hard and fast rules for who and why people fall in love. A smart person and a dumb person can, has, and will fall in love with each other. There is no logic to love, and it's high time people stop trying to turn it into math.

Also, their little formula for matches has never been published or been subject to peer review. Fishy? I think so. Of course, not every story is a successful one. Heck, there's a chance that even if you filled out a profile, you'd be rejected. And that's after you fill out the profile... 258 questions, remember?

Apparently people were able to find one another before the Internet. I don't think it's doing much to revolutionize love as much as people like Warren claim.

A Couple Personal Odds and Ends

I have started working out again... and honestly, I don't know what I waited so long for. I'm kicking myself about it. But I've cut a considerable amount of fat off my frame and I can see and feel muscles coming back. I've only been at it for two-three weeks and I can already see a difference. Amazing what just a bit of effort will do. I can't wait until I get that hawt stomach again.
Right now, I'm doing 100 sit ups and two sets of max rep push ups every day. It only takes me about 20-25 minutes. I think I'll bump the sit ups to 150 next week, though. 100 is starting to get easy.
Just as a general message... if you're thinking about starting to exercise, don't wait. Just do it. Don't say next week, don't say tomorrow... just go out and do it. You'll be glad you did. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time.

I should also note that I'm not graduating next month. It's been a rough year for me, so I'm going to have to do it again next year. However, TR and I are looking for a place to live, so that'll be fun. I gotta get out of the dorms, though. I can't take it anymore. I think I'm going to try and stay down here in Athens for the summer. I have a couple prospects for employment I'm going to pursue.

I have a pretty awesome tan line going across my forehead as a result of my hat. Being outside is so much better than staying inside. That's a life philosophy.

I've had my bike less than a year, yet the chains are completely rusted. What the heck? This really sucks because Ashley took her car back on Friday. I don't know how I'm going to get to Wal-Mart or Biolife now. Oy.

Taboo Taboos

I have to admit I really took to "Beauty and the Geek." For those of you who have never seen it, it's dubbed as a "social experiment" that pairs a geeky guy with a "beauty," a woman who is pretty (at least by the standards established by some) but doesn't have much in the way of knowledge or skills. The partners then teach each other what they know, such as computer skills, interior decorating, politics, fashion... whatever. As the show stresses, it's not a dating situation. They were showing the second season on MTV Sunday, so I was flipping between that and the NBA playoffs.
It ended up being really interesting, watching the girls learn things they thought they couldn't and the guys acquiring social skills they previously lacked. And, of course, it doesn't hurt to use the show to promote yourself. There was one particular episode in which the guys were versed in dating skills. Mind you, many of these guys had never been on a date before or had little more experience with women. So they learned about dating the way we all have, by reading books about it.

One part that struck me was when some guys were being quizzed and a question came across about what two things should not be discussed on the first date. He answered-and got the point for the question-that people should not discuss politics or religion on the first date. I don't get that.
We live in a country that has a very strange relationship with the spiritual. We've been called and claim ourselves to be a Christian nation (I've always wondered why this claim was so important; we're not flying the Cross on the flag or anything), yet we keep faith at arm's length unless it's convenient for us to invite it in. Need a reason to kick gays? Rally around the Bible! Church this Sunday? Well, I guess I'm not all that serious about my faith. As a people, we refuse to embrace faith, but we also refuse to push it away. It's like we can't decide. When it works for us, we go with it. When it doesn't, we ignore it.

My question is this: Why wouldn't you discuss religion on the first date? And if the first date isn't the right time for that, which one is? The third? Fifth? Twenty second? We're so afraid to offend each other, apparently. Well, if someone is offended by the fact I openly worship Christ, I'm not going to feel sorry for it or apologize for it. Similarly, I'm not going to be offended by someone else's faith (unless that religion is the Ohio State Buckeyes). Here's the thing. If you take religion even at least somewhat seriously, isn't it important to know how the person you're having dinner with stands? I wouldn't want to wait until a seventh date to find out the girl is Jewish. It's just not going to work that way. Religion is, for many people, a defining trait. Hiding it or not talking about it strikes me as dishonest. I want to know if we're compatible on this very basic level before moving forward. If so, great. If not, it's best to know that at the start. A seed can only grow in certain soils, right? I know where I stand. She's going to know that, and I'm going to know where she is. That's how it has to be. Plus, if we are in the same place in this regard, that's a great starting point. Talking about Jesus is a pretty good way to grow closer to someone, I say. I don't understand why we should not talk about something that should be celebrated instead.
Politics is a bit of a stickier issue. I probably wouldn't bring it up on a first date, but I wouldn't run away from it, either. For one thing, it's nice to know if I can hold such a conversation with the girl civilly. If it turns into a shouting match, that's probably a bad sign. Also, if we see eye-to-eye on a couple things, that's great. But if nothing else, it's a point of conversation. Conversation is usually a good thing.

The bottom line here is that it strikes me a silly to say these are not proper first date tactics. This is very basic, very important information about a person. Wouldn't you want to know these things?

Another thing from the show was a competition in which the guys had to memorize what kind of shoes and purses the girls wanted and pick them from a wall of a lot of shoes and purses. This might be my ranting side, but this seems like a pretty unfair characterization of women here. Are they trying to tell these guys shoes and purses are what's most important? That takes a pretty shallow chick to put that at the top of her list of priorities.

Death by Sexy

You gotta love OU. Mom's Weekend just wrapped up. For those of you who haven't been blessed with the experience, 40 and 50-something moms descended on Ohio University for a couple days in an effort to outdrink and outslut their daughters. That may sound very harsh, but ask anyone who went to OU. It's absolutely true. Moms try to and hook up with college guys (if they haven't drunk them under the table first). It's really... icky as far as I'm concerned.
Off the heels of that eventful weekend comes a new thing: Ohio University SexFest 2007! For a wonder, there's no information I could find about it on the OU site, but here's a picture (sort of) of the flyers posted all over the place. This is the first time something like this is happening; I certainly would have remembered this occurring in the past.
Now, I'm sure the goal of this is to promote discussion and awareness of, uh, sex. Because if there's something we don't talk about enough, it's sex. But look at some of these events. Mass porn watching. What's that going to accomplish except demonstrate who enjoys watching porn with other people? I mean, there's nothing wrong about this week per se... but it just feels very off. I wonder if any parents on a tour have noticed these signs and what they think about it. I'm tempted to follow a group around to find out.

Got to play some tennis earlier today. That was a lot of fun, and I hate myself for not finding ways to play more. Evan and I didn't get to finish our match as our court time was up; I was ahead 2-0 in the third set. But, like I said, it was a lot of fun. And I was outside. I like being outside. So I'm going to try and do more of that. Plus, I took some of my old balls and put them on the legs of my chair so it moves all smooth and quiet. I feel like I accomplished something and that I'm in fourth grade again.
But darn it, my volleys have gone all to crap. And my forehand got real loose at times. And my backhand needs all sorts of work. I love this game, but it drives me crazy!

Based on the couple hours of tennis and the three hours of bike riding I did Friday, I've already started to turn brown. I'm excited for the line around my ankles to become more pronounced.

We're doing another forecast again tomorrow in Intro to Weather. I gotta make a good one if I want to keep my lead in the class. Bonus points are at stake! And I suppose I should study for that exam on Wednesday. And maybe start that paper due next week in history. No rest for the wicked.

Public Drunkenness and a Citrus Sunburst

Last night, I was relating the tale of the waiter at Rio Grande trying to induce me to drink a shot of tequila and Tep's subsequent argument that I should've taken it, well, just because. I don't know if I qualify as a teetotaler; I can count the number of drinks I've had since I turned 21, though. My decision not to drink really doesn't have a solid reason (we speculate that's why Tep has such a hard time understanding why I don't) aside from the fact I don't drink pop either. Beer isn't good for you, and I try not to drink things that aren't good for you. Oh, if I could only apply that to food...

I take a very ambivalent view toward drinking. I don't like drunkenness, but aside from that, I really don't care if you drink or not. The problem with that is that I'm in college. People expect me to drink. It's as if they want me to drink. When I mention that I go to OU to some people, they give me the whole, "Oh, you guys party pretty hard down there, huh?" I tell them that I don't, and they tend to not believe me. For some reason, doctors are especially skeptical of this. But... whatever. Believe me or don't.

The real interesting thing in my experience has been telling other people in school with me that I don't drink. Some are fine with it. Others get borderline angry, asking what makes me think I'm so special that I won't have a beer. Uh, nothing. I just don't want it. I don't want a giraffe either, but I don't see you getting upset about that. Still others will try and get me to take a drink as if I've never experienced peer pressure before. No, really. I'm fine with my decision. No, just because you give me the "c'mon" voice doesn't mean I'll change my mind.

At the same time, I can see where some people get defensive. Some people do have some measure of guilt about the fact they drink, and I see where they would find someone else not drinking irksome. Along the same vein, there's really no good way to say, "I don't drink." Try it. Didn't you just sound a little uppity? I've tried to minimize this over the years. I decided the best way to say it is apologetically, like I feel bad about. "Sorry, I don't drink. I know. I feel bad about it too." Usually, you have to justify your decision for some reason. I've never understood this. Why do I have to defend the fact I'm not doing something that really adds nothing to my life? It's not like I'm not getting a driver's license or anything. Furthermore, why is it that people who do drink don't have to justify it? I don't get it. Either way, I have a myriad of excuses: Medication, blood donation, the idea of liquid bread is unappealing. I've tried just shrugging my shoulders and saying I just don't dig it, but that just seems to confuse people. Furthermore, people seem more puzzled about my not drinking after I turned 21. I guess they can understand it if I'm underage, but now that I'm legal, I'm not fulfilling my duties as an American.

Like I mentioned, there are those people who seem determined to get you to down some alcohol at some point. I don't get these people either. I'm not forcing you to play ultimate frisbee, why try to force me to do this? However, they're infinitely more amusing. I encountered them mainly during my time at The Post. They seemed enthralled by the novelty of some freshman not drinking at first. They pledged this wouldn't continue. Typical statements included, "I didn't drink at first, either" and "The Post will drive you to drinking." Well, it didn't. All it did was destroy my self-confidence and leave me angry and bitter. Good trade. Some people even offered me money to have a can of something. In retrospect, I'm not sure I made the wise decision in turning them down.

I do have to say, though, that being the non-drinker usually makes you stand out at a party. And most likely, you're not having much fun- I never did. The immortal Bryson Turner described it best:
I'd go to a party and a girl would offer me a drink. I'd say, "Oh, no, I don't drink."

"Oh, wow. That is so cool. I respect that so much." (turns around) "Hey, you want a beer? Cool. You want to have sex later? Oh, don't worry, I just found someone to complain about you to."

I guess we all have our place in the world.

Also, I'm annoyed neither Wal-Mart nor Kroger have refills for my Air Wick. Darn it, I want fresh-smelling air! I'll have to use the $1 Renuzit things in the interim, I suppose. But if you find any Air Wick air fresheners (not the oil), especially citrus-scented... hook me up.