I was reading an article from Psychology Today the other day about compatibility and chemistry. I enjoy reading it; it's a good read for lay people like myself, and they touch on a wide variety of topics. Anyway, this article talked about what chemistry between two people really is, if it's something that comes natural or if it's made, how to keep it... that sort of thing. At the end, they had a number of quotes from psychologists and other people about the topic. Again, interesting stuff. But one stuck in my craw: Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony.com, said for a couple to be compatible, the two people must be within one standard deviation of intelligence.
And that statement really chafes at me. I'm sure you've seen the commercials of eHarmony with the really, really amazingly happy couples. You've probably been annoyed by them as well. And that Warren guy... kinda creepy, right? Anyway, if you ever wanted to get on that site, they have you answer a 258-question personal assessment. 258? Good gravy. They use the answers from your questions to set you up with matches.
I'm sure other sites do so in a similar manner (I haven't exactly been crawling the Web looking for e-dating), so this is probably just symbolic of everything else. But love is not a mathematical formula. It can't be rationalized, and it can't be put into a neat little box like people such as Warren apparently want to do. He didn't say couples should be within a standard deviation of intelligence, he said they must be. Many times, love doesn't make sense, and there's no hard and fast rules for who and why people fall in love. A smart person and a dumb person can, has, and will fall in love with each other. There is no logic to love, and it's high time people stop trying to turn it into math.
Also, their little formula for matches has never been published or been subject to peer review. Fishy? I think so. Of course, not every story is a successful one. Heck, there's a chance that even if you filled out a profile, you'd be rejected. And that's after you fill out the profile... 258 questions, remember?
Apparently people were able to find one another before the Internet. I don't think it's doing much to revolutionize love as much as people like Warren claim.
About Me
- Monty
- I am who I think I am, I am who you know I am, I am who I want to be, who I was, who I could be, who I can't be. I am.
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1 comment:
I completely agree. I've told Steven he isn't my type, haha. =P Type = the type of guy everyone used to fantasize about in high school = Mr. Darcy, Francisco di Anconia, etc. But love happens when you least expect it, usually with someone you either a) didn't want to like or had no interest in or b) never thought you would ever feel anything for other than feelings of friendship. And it's far from from perfect, but if you're lucky, he/she is the one you end up spending the majority of your life with.
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