The Body

This is a short piece I composed in December for Good Works. The prompt: "What does it mean to be the Body of Christ IN the world, FOR the world?" Your thoughts are welcome.

Being the body of Christ in the world and for the world demands much of us. At the most basic level, being the body means being the physical manifestation of Jesus on Earth. As a body, we must also harbor the spirit of Christ. Just as we are incomplete as only physical beings, the body of Christ is incomplete without the spirit. Through the body, we do works. With the spirit, we have faith.

“Now you are Christ's body, and individually members of it.”¹ There is only one body of Christ, and we comprise its parts. Each part of a body is simultaneously autonomous and dependent. For instance, only the lungs breathe, but they need blood provided from the heart and nervous signals from the brain. As members of the body of Christ, we all have our specific role that only we can do, yet our job cannot happen or does not succeed without the rest of the body functioning. Bodies have room to grow, and we seek to grow the body of Christ by bringing in new members.

“There is one body and one Spirit.”² As keepers of the spirit, we get our purpose, revelation, and energy from it. As the body, we represent Jesus in His absence. We partake in communion, per His instructions, in recognition of this. We go forth and do works for Him. We continue His work. We seek to bring the spirit to those that do not have it. We endeavor to follow His instructions in clothing the naked and feeding the hungry. We do this to spread the glory of God and to expand His kingdom, for He deserves no less than for His kingdom to encompass the world.

By being the body of Christ, we sublimate our individual selves, our personal needs and desires, in favor of the good of the body. We sacrifice so that the collective can thrive. This is not easy; Satan tempts us with individual decadence because he knows people who feel like they have everything they need on their own will not submit to the restrictions of a social conscience. We purposely deny ourselves so that the other parts of the body may benefit. Through this, we all come out stronger. The kingdom of God is stronger as well.

“The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.”³ The body of Christ is the light of the world. As the body, we bring that light to those in the darkness, to those that cannot see. In contemporary times, it is the body of Christ that stands as a resisting force to the hyper-individualistic tendencies of society. We recognize the pitfalls of this movement and move to counter it. In essence, we stand to save people from themselves.

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1 1 Cor. 12:27 (NASB).

2 Eph. 4:4.

3 Mat. 6:22

Letting Others Talk For Me

In my random explorations of the Internet, I came across this.  I've discussed my frustrations with people I think are wrongly carrying the torch of God before, but perhaps not this well.  This is perhaps a new long-term goal for me: I need to find a way to deal in my mind and my heart with these people.  Ever try confronting one of them?  Not the best plan.

On a side note, I feel like the blog author and I would be friends if we lived anywhere near one another.

The Weather Was Fantastic, Too

If you know me at least a little, you ought to know that I intend on joining the Peace Corps once my time at Ohio University is over.

There are a couple reasons for this. First and foremost, I believe the plan God has for me on Earth involves serving my fellow man. I believe it is something I am to make my life of, and I believe God has shown me this way, to get away from everything and devote myself to helping others.

I truly enjoy helping others. I have never gotten tired of it when I do it. I always learn something important and meaningful, and it fulfills me. Lastly, Peace Corps offers a great chance for adventure and travel, two things am I very much in favor of.

Even though I work, I try to take advantage of volunteering opportunities as they come along. For example, I spent spring break two weeks ago in Miami, Florida, volunteering at the Miami Rescue Mission,

The Mission is dedicated to helping the homeless. They have a program for people to help them get clean¹, get education they may need, help them get employment and a place to live, and help them build a relationship with Christ. It also opens its doors at night for dinner for the people on the streets and offers free showers a couple times a week as well.

In talking with some of the men² in the program, it was extraordinary to hear their stories. Where they had been, what they've done, and where they are now. It was exciting to listen to these men talking about how God had entered their lives and was working to change them in profound ways.

To be sure, the work wasn't easy, but the reward was greater than the work put in. In the short week I was there, I built connections with some of the men there. Most people have their own conceptions about the homeless. My own thoughts, sadly, were mostly formed by TV. I imagined dour, dispirited people that were borderline hostile with others. This could not have been further from the truth. There was an amazing spirit of positivity, hope, and optimism. They weren't letting themselves get down because of what they had been through. They were excited about where they were going. One slogan I saw was, "We may be homeless, but we are not helpless."

It amazes me, what people can pull themselves up from, given a little help. No man is an island, right? People have to take ownership of their situation³, but if they do and there is a person willing to give a hand, they can go places. It truly never is too late.

I may share some actual stories, but not now. I just wanted to reiterate the power I feel of God's love and the love we have for each other, how powerful that it is. It was awesome, and it's the kind of thing I truly cannot wait to do on a more permanent basis.

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1 Many homeless people have a drug addiction. I realize this is far from a groundbreaking statement, but it's striking how big of a problem is truly is.

2 They have separate programs for men and women. Obviously, I worked with the men.

3 Provided that they are able. Some people are not and need that much more help and love.

My Yearly Reminder That I Want to Marry an Australian

Second week in January. You know what that means! You don't? Oh, well, I'll tell you: The Australian Open! Rah! Yay! Woo! OK, I know I'm the only one that's excited. Work with me here. I have two weeks of compelling tennis and crazy Aussie fans to look forward to, and I'm gonna enjoy it, dag nab it!

Sort of enjoy it, at least, because I don't have cable. But I can follow the scores online! Oh yeah!

Went to BG last weekend for the first OU basketball game of the conference season. Not only did the game suck (I haven't gotten around to uploading the pictures), but I accidentally passed Cedar Point on the way, which only served to remind me about the great day I had there with the ex-girlfriend... totally and completely destroyed my mood. And that made me think about more things she said that now suck to think about, but I'll spare you. You get the idea.

I have to pass along this anecdote, though. On Sunday, I stopped at Steak 'n' Shake because I had a thing for a free shake. Seeing as I wasn't going to be in the area for a couple months, I decided to use it right then. Also, I wanted to stop by and see if Angela was working to bother her. Well, guess who was working? Yeah. I just sat down and looked straight forward, avoiding seeing her at all costs. Of course, she comes right up to me and says hi... and rubs my back. Why? Why would you do that? She sits down (ugh) and begins to make small talk (give me a freaking break). That led to this gem:
Her: How are you?
Me: Can't wait for this week to be over.
Her: Why?
Me: It's been a crappy week.
Her: Really?

No, not really. In fact, I did a cartwheel when you dumped me because I was so happy. Yes, it was a sucky week. Not only did you inform me our relationship was a sham, I drove across the state to watch my basketball team lose to a terrible Bowling Green squad. After that, she stroked my arm momentarily. Again, why? Don't touch me. You gave up that right. I spotted Angela after a couple minutes and beckoned over. "Oh, but you're talking."
"I know. Get over here."
The ex, thankfully, felt awkward enough to get up and leave. Then after I left, she sends me a text message! Unbelievable. I can't get the girl to get in touch me while we're dating, now she won't leave me be when I didn't want to see her. I called Angela later to give her a hard time, and she said the ex was acting weird around her after I left, almost like she was guilty. She apparently said to Angela, "I broke Jeffrey's heart, didn't I?" No, you didn't. Can't break what you don't have. Bruised, yes. Broken, no. Angela said she didn't really sound remorseful about it, which is just kind of... weird. How can you be so unaware of your actions and how they affect others? Whatever.

I was able to go to a movie viewing ("The Big Kahuna") and a discussion afterwards from a spiritual standpoint. That was really good, as I'd been feeling really disconnected from the faith in recent months. I need to get re-centered and back to the important things. I did a great job of that today by sleeping through church.

Thankfully, the week ended well with a beating of Miami on the hardwood. I always feel good after that! We tried to storm the court but failed miserably, which was one of the most horrifying events of my life. Seriously, that was a nightmare come to life. The players, thankfully, sort of bailed us out by coming to us in the stands. That was a great moment.

Now, if you're an Aussie and single...

Taboo Taboos

I have to admit I really took to "Beauty and the Geek." For those of you who have never seen it, it's dubbed as a "social experiment" that pairs a geeky guy with a "beauty," a woman who is pretty (at least by the standards established by some) but doesn't have much in the way of knowledge or skills. The partners then teach each other what they know, such as computer skills, interior decorating, politics, fashion... whatever. As the show stresses, it's not a dating situation. They were showing the second season on MTV Sunday, so I was flipping between that and the NBA playoffs.
It ended up being really interesting, watching the girls learn things they thought they couldn't and the guys acquiring social skills they previously lacked. And, of course, it doesn't hurt to use the show to promote yourself. There was one particular episode in which the guys were versed in dating skills. Mind you, many of these guys had never been on a date before or had little more experience with women. So they learned about dating the way we all have, by reading books about it.

One part that struck me was when some guys were being quizzed and a question came across about what two things should not be discussed on the first date. He answered-and got the point for the question-that people should not discuss politics or religion on the first date. I don't get that.
We live in a country that has a very strange relationship with the spiritual. We've been called and claim ourselves to be a Christian nation (I've always wondered why this claim was so important; we're not flying the Cross on the flag or anything), yet we keep faith at arm's length unless it's convenient for us to invite it in. Need a reason to kick gays? Rally around the Bible! Church this Sunday? Well, I guess I'm not all that serious about my faith. As a people, we refuse to embrace faith, but we also refuse to push it away. It's like we can't decide. When it works for us, we go with it. When it doesn't, we ignore it.

My question is this: Why wouldn't you discuss religion on the first date? And if the first date isn't the right time for that, which one is? The third? Fifth? Twenty second? We're so afraid to offend each other, apparently. Well, if someone is offended by the fact I openly worship Christ, I'm not going to feel sorry for it or apologize for it. Similarly, I'm not going to be offended by someone else's faith (unless that religion is the Ohio State Buckeyes). Here's the thing. If you take religion even at least somewhat seriously, isn't it important to know how the person you're having dinner with stands? I wouldn't want to wait until a seventh date to find out the girl is Jewish. It's just not going to work that way. Religion is, for many people, a defining trait. Hiding it or not talking about it strikes me as dishonest. I want to know if we're compatible on this very basic level before moving forward. If so, great. If not, it's best to know that at the start. A seed can only grow in certain soils, right? I know where I stand. She's going to know that, and I'm going to know where she is. That's how it has to be. Plus, if we are in the same place in this regard, that's a great starting point. Talking about Jesus is a pretty good way to grow closer to someone, I say. I don't understand why we should not talk about something that should be celebrated instead.
Politics is a bit of a stickier issue. I probably wouldn't bring it up on a first date, but I wouldn't run away from it, either. For one thing, it's nice to know if I can hold such a conversation with the girl civilly. If it turns into a shouting match, that's probably a bad sign. Also, if we see eye-to-eye on a couple things, that's great. But if nothing else, it's a point of conversation. Conversation is usually a good thing.

The bottom line here is that it strikes me a silly to say these are not proper first date tactics. This is very basic, very important information about a person. Wouldn't you want to know these things?

Another thing from the show was a competition in which the guys had to memorize what kind of shoes and purses the girls wanted and pick them from a wall of a lot of shoes and purses. This might be my ranting side, but this seems like a pretty unfair characterization of women here. Are they trying to tell these guys shoes and purses are what's most important? That takes a pretty shallow chick to put that at the top of her list of priorities.

Easter Meditations

I'm sitting here simultaneously hungry and not hungry. You know that feeling? It's a weird feeling. I should probably make myself something to eat, but I just want to sit here for a while. In fact, that's what I'm doing. There was about five minutes between those two sentences. And another five between this and the previous. Hmm.

Easter is my favorite holiday. I know Christmas is part of the cultural zeitgeist, but I've never been that big on Christmas for reasons I've illustrated before. Easter, though, does it for me. It represents everything that is wonderful about the Faith and about Jesus. At church today, the pastor talked about Easter being a time for God to rejuvenate us. I agree. I usually come away from Easter feeling more energetic, more excited about my faith. For those that don't share the Faith, I can tell you that it's a weight. It grinds. It can wear you down. It's good, then, to have days like these to recharge us.

And I do feel recharged. Heck, I was able to get out of bed at 9:30 on a Sunday. That's a good sign, and evidence enough for me that God is working through me. You think I could've gotten up on my own after falling asleep somewhere around 6?

I'm also feeling very reflective, though. Today is about rejoicing for Jesus and His Rising, but I can't help but think of other things on this day. I've been thinking on the past year. What have I done? Who have I helped? Have I kept the Faith? Am I impacting people in a positive way or a negative way? Am I making myself better? Am I doing what God has set me out to do? How can I improve over the next year?
To be sure, these are weighty questions. They're not lightly taken. So I'll probably spend much of the day in thought and prayer... again, a good thing. I just hope that I and my friends can help lead me down the correct path for this coming year.

The World is Not Making Sense

I give up. I've thrown the towel in. I'm done. Apparently I wasn't completely off the mark earlier, as Jessica told me she's getting back together with her ex. Awesome. So really, I've learned that doing things the "right way" is just a quick path to pain and misery. Don't treat women with respect. Don't compliment them. Don't do things for them and let them know what they mean to you. Instead, you should cheat on them, abuse them, lie to them, mess with them... these are the things that women apparently like. The good guys sit on the sidelines while the losers get chance after chance after chance.
So I'm done. I can't take this anymore. I've taken my hat out of the ring. I don't even want to talk to women right now. If you see me considering dating a girl, punch me in the nose. The same crap happens every single time, so I'm not even going to try anymore.
On a related note, I was having a conversation with Nate and Carolyn the other night. I somehow got to talking about my sister and mentioned she was dating some guy at Kent. I said it was one of those things where you go to school, meet some idiot guy, and date him for a while. After I said that, I looked at Carolyn and realized that was exactly the same thing with us! I am an idiot! How did I not see this before? It never meant as much to her as it did to me. It astounds me how much of a moron I am sometimes. Really, I should get an award for it.

As much fun as perpetual whining about women is, there are other things going on in my life. For instance, I'm on the verge of murdering my roommate. I don't know what the deal is with this kid. For the weekend, he wasn't getting up until about 6 PM! 6 PM! Who does that? So of course he's going to bed at insane hours; today he got up at 6, went to bed at 4, then woke up again at about midnight. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. It drives me nuts. Of course, I guess when all you do is sit at the computer like a waste of humanity, you don't need a regular sleep schedule. And I thought I was unusual.

The Australian Open has started, and it's awesome. Live tennis at three in the morning is a thing I am very much in favor of. James Blake looked good in his first match against Moya; we'll see if he can make a significant run in Melbourne.

I love the Taco Bell commercials with Carmen Electra. I guess now that she's not with Dave Navarro anymore, she's more willing to debase herself again for money. Good for her.

I finally took advantage of the Little Caesar's $5 pizza deal. I'm going to have to do that more often. It's particularly fantastic. I mean, why didn't I do this before? Walk in, hand them a Jefferson, walk out with a pizza. Genius! Everyone should do this. It's amazing.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I love the rock garden fountain Tim and Fi got me for Christmas. It's great. Sometimes, I'll just stare at it for several minutes. It's a great de-stressor.

In case you didn't read "The Christian Paradox" that I linked to in my last entry, I'm going to do it again and urge you to read it. This article spoke to me about a few things that had been in my head. This is a country that claims to be Christian, but it just doesn't follow through on its words. Religion- Jesus- is not words. It's life. I can say I'm left-handed, but it doesn't make me so. Too many seem to regard this faith as a moral code. It's not. And honestly, I'm sort of tired of this country. I want to see what else is out there. Europe may be more "explicit," but it is probably more honest, too. That's the thing here in the US. We're hypocrites. We do stuff we claim not to do. I'm not saying we should do whatever, but at least we ought to stop lying about it. It might be easier to raise children in a culture of honesty than one of deceit. You know, I don't think I'm going to refer to myself as a Christian anymore. I don't think the word accurately describes the path I have set out on anymore. Thoughts?

Close Your Eyes and Say Good Night

So I think Nate is getting tired of me destroying him in Smash Bros. I don't even remember the last time he's won a game. Speaking of games, I've been playing Betrayal at the House on the Hill, which is a lot of fun. Basically, it's a board game in which 3-6 players are exploring the neighborhood haunted house. The twist is that one of the party is a traitor. At some point the game, the traitor is revealed along with his plan. The traitor tries to accomplish whatever goals s/he has and the heroes try to stop him. You don't know who the traitor is or what the scenario is in advance; it's all random. Good fun for a group, and just about anyone can enjoy it.

Basketball plays Kent Sunday at 2. As it turns out, Kent chose their home MAC opener for their "let's try and sell out the gym" promotion, so it looks like the Bobcats are going to be playing in front of a full house on the road. Ohio hasn't played well at the M.A.C. Center recently, so I'm not too optimistic on this one.
On a vaguely related note, I owe a friend of mine a high-five and jealousy because he achieved the Impossible Dream, dating a volleyball player. I'm pretty sure his life is more awesome than mine now.

At the moment, I'm listening to "Story of a Girl" by Nine Days and it makes me feel good and sad at the same time. I'm weird.

Met Emma's boyfriend, Noah, today. Nice guy. We seem to have a lot in common, so we've gotten along pretty well. They seem pretty good for each other. Hope they are; she deserves a break to go her way.
A quick thought about relationship-esque things: I'm pretty sure TV and movies are to blame for this, but I realized at some point in the recent past that I'm terrified to do anything physical with women. I'm completely convinced that they don't to be touched, don't like to be kissed, don't want to have sex... none of that. Yes, it's insane, but whenever I'm trying to touch, kiss, whatever, I'm always thinking she doesn't want to, that only guys like this and girls just want to... talk or something. On a related note, I always like it 500% more when a girl is the one to initiate a hand holding or whatever. I'm pretty sure Shasta likes it when I pet her, though. So I do it a lot.

Anyone who's known me a while knows that for whatever reason, my roommates typically don't stick around for a while. Well, I have one that doesn't look like he's leaving anytime soon... and I can't stand him. He's a slob, he's dirty, and he doesn't do anything. The other day, he was smelling the room up so bad that I had to leave. And this is even with an Air Wick and employing Febreeze. He doesn't put his dirty clothes in a hamper or bag or anything; instead, he throws it all into one giant pile. Mind you, he has a clothing bag or two, but they've been incorporated into the giant pile. He moves it from his bed to his chair depending on which he's using. He's been sleeping in until about 6 p.m. He doesn't go anywhere, doesn't talk to anyone, just sits at his computer and does... whatever all day. Seriously. He doesn't move. Nobody other than his twin brother has ever come to visit him. I mean, is he even alive? Oy.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. The Australian Open starts on Sunday! And here is a very cool game that I discovered at random a little bit ago; it got Cheryl Sadler completely hooked.
Food for thought: Is Christianity in America a lie? Honestly, I think it is. A former professor once put forth the theory that there are two Christianities, a religious Christianity and a social Christianity. The people that belong to the latter don't really know or really care about the tenants and lifestyle of the faith, but use it as a rallying point for whatever it is they want to accomplish (see: gay marriage). The Religious Right is a pretty good example of this. Is their mission religious or political? It's hard to argue in earnest that it's God directing them when a lot of what they do flies in the face of the teachings of Jesus.

And I can't remember if I mentioned this, but some jerk has been stealing markers or breaking the tips off them from my whiteboard. Honestly, who does that? Why? It's not funny. I don't get people. If you have a problem with me, just come to me. I'd like to think I'm reasonable.

I Hate Christmas?

Wow, it's been a month? Sorry about that. Anyway... Despite the May-like temperatures here in Twinsburg, Christmas season is upon us like Shasta on a dropped pepperoni. We all know what that means: Christmas lights, increases in suicide attempts, awkward office parties, Egg Nog, conversations about how toys were better when we were kids, and people regularly casting aspersions upon me because I "hate" Christmas.

That, of course, is silly. If something involves Jesus, I'm for it, generally speaking. To borrow from Allen Iverson, "We're not talking about Jesus. We're not talking about Jesus. We're talking about Christmas. Christmas?" I just don't go along with the American Christmas culture. For some, that means I hate the holiday. So be it, but I like to see myself as a critical thinker and I'm going to question and reject some of the commonly-held notions of the holiday.

So in that vein, here's my views on Christmas:

- I don't like getting beaten over the head with things, and I don't like being told what is the "correct" way to do something. If you know me, you know I lash out at that when it happens to me. Now that the holiday is starting to encroach on Halloween, it's simply too much. It's overwhelming. And the people that tell me how I ought to embrace the so-called Christmas spirit and celebrate it the same way they do... shut up. Just because it means something different to me than it does to you does not mean you're "better" at it than I am. Get over yourself.

- Sorry, but December 25 is not Jesus' birthday. The holiday is celebrated when it is because the Catholic church put it there to compete with a popular pagan festival. I don't have a problem with that, but facts are facts. "Well, don't you want to celebrate the birth of the Savior?" Of course I do, but I don't need a specific date to do it, and I don't know why you do, either. Aren't we supposed to revere Him 365(6) days a year? You don't get extra credit for Christmas. It just fits into the social mores of our culture that we loooove our birthdays. Besides, the birth itself isn't quite as important as the death, the resurrection, or the ascension. So why isn't Easter given the same treatment?

- I don't hate Christmas music. I really don't. However, I'm not going to like said music just because it's Christmas. That philosophy applies to everything, by the way. I don't like poop more just because it came from Shasta instead of a deer. There is some really, really good Christmas music out there. The Charlie Brown Christmas album and Trans-Siberian Orchestra spring to mind immediately. I could listen to that all year. The problem... well, there's two problems. The first is that for many years, my house was playing the Harry Connick Jr. Christmas CD on a constant loop, which is ear-bleeding bad. That's not going to make someone like Christmas music. The second is that you have the same 15 songs being played, except there's 500 different versions of them that really aren't different at all. Remember what I said about being beaten over the head? The original versions of many of those songs are still the best and still fantastic. Give me those, and throw the rest out. No, we don't need A Britney Spears Christmas. Spare me.

- The Christmas specials. Please, stop. It's too much. I get it: Some guy is a high-powered whatever who is making money at the cost of his family. Something happens and he realizes the importance of his family and that the money really doesn't matter. Great. Now stop making 10 movies with that theme. Just like the music, it's all recycled crap. Give me something original, please. Isn't this a wonderful holiday? Can't we think of something new? As terrible a movie as "Love Actually" is, at least it did something different with the Christmas theme. I'll give it that much. There's a reason everyone watches "A Charlie Brown Christmas," "It's a Wonderful Life," "A Christmas Story," and the Patrick Stewart-led "A Christmas Carol" over and over (and for those of us that know enough, "Scrooged."): They're good movies or TV. They're enjoyable, and they happen to work the Christmas theme in. Even if it was about, say, a rodeo, they would probably still be good.

- Christmas decorations... this can go either way. If you haven't seen that awesome display from last year, just search for "Christmas lights" on YouTube. It's amazing. The thing here is that... it seems like people are trying to prove they have more "Christmas" spirit by throwing up more decorations than their neighbor. That sort of thing annoys me. Plus, it's really bothersome when someone's porch is filled with crap and you're trying to drop off a package. It's just like throwing on a sweater with trees on it just to show everyone else how into it you are. I guess I just don't like posers.

- Gift giving. I'll skip the whole consumer corporate culture thing. We all know that story. On my mom's side of the family, we do a secret Santa thing. Everyone knows how it works. The part that bothers me is that these are people I see once or twice a year, so when I get it, it doesn't really mean anything. I'm required to provide a list. All that's happening is that somebody is choosing something from my list (and is under the $25 limit), and I'm doing the same. We hand it to each other, essentially just buying something for someone when we all could have gotten it for ourselves and saved time. The actual exchange of the gifts is meaningless. It's a soulless procedure.
Really, I don't like the concept of a Christmas list. If you have to ask me what I want, you don't really know me. You're just doing the legwork and I'm doing the thinking for you. If I want something bad enough, I'll get it myself. So there isn't anything come Christmastime I'm uber-excited about getting. That means, then, I want to be surprised. I want you to put some thought and effort into the process. I want it to mean something. Nothing means more to me than something I never thought of but you did.
I never ask someone what they want for Christmas. And if they tell me what they want, they're less likely to get it from me. I go out and I think and I look at stuff. I get it if it speaks to me and I think it is something that would resonate with the person. You never know what you're getting from me! Isn't that how it should be? Gifts from me are the end of a process and something that means something. It demonstrates I know you and I care.
I *love* giving gifts and frankly, I couldn't care much less about getting any in return. The greatest thing ever is a person saying, "Wow, that's really cool" to something I gave them. And that's the greatest present I could ask for (cheesy music).

- So there's this movie coming out, "Unaccompanied Minors." Apparently they get stuck in an airport overnight by themselves or something... I don't know. But the trailer promises that they will learn "the true meaning of Christmas." I will bet cash money that this meaning has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ. And guess what? THAT IS NOT THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. JESUS IS THE MEANING. I'm sure you've heard "the reason for the season." Well guess what? It's true. Christmas without Jesus (Christ, you know, as in Christmas) is like the 4th of July without the Constitution. It means nothing.
People are especially giving and generous this time of year (allegedly), which is great. But too many people are giving at Christmas and not the rest of the year. Charities have all they can handle at Christmas and not the rest of the year. This "true meaning" of Christmas should apply to the rest of the year. That's what it's really about. Somewhere, we lost that.
Also, I hate Santa Claus. I've been killed for this (especially by the future Mrs. Brownrigg), but I'm not afraid to say it. I wish he would go away. In fact, I'm resolved not to do this to my children. I have two thoughts on this:
1. I don't know why I get grief for choosing not to participate in institutional lying to kids.
2. It all goes back to the whole "reason for the season" thing. We're teaching kids Christmas is about getting presents and being good for rewards, not because of Jesus and the joy of giving (or being good because you're a kid and that's your only freaking job). In essence, we're teaching them the wrong things. I refuse to be a party to that. I will fail my future kids in enough ways anyway.

I think that's it. I hope that clears some things up and that you've thought about what I said here. My goal wasn't to try to persuade, just to establish my position on the matter.

Actually... Not

(Note: There are movie spoilers in this post.)

I had seen all the critical raves (Roeper liked it, which is telling). It did fairly well in the box office here in America. Women swoon all over themselves about it. And now, I have seen Love Actually twice. Let me tell you friends, there are romantic movies that leave with an uplifted sense of life and the human condition, semi-satisfying movies that don't really leave an impression but are fun and digestible, forgettable and far-fetched yawners, and movies that insult the concept of romance in the first place.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind stands out as a shining beacon for the first category. I could name a hundred examples of the next two. Love Actually threatens to proudly carry the banner for the last category. I can't remember the last time I saw a romantic movie that actually made me angry, but this one pulled it off.

Now, there are a couple interesting story lines that I followed with a genuine sense of caring, such as Alan Rickman's will-I-or-won't-I affair and Laura Linney's quiet longing for her co-worker. Those are fine. In fact, if the movie was just about those two things, it would be a decent film. No. They had to throw in a barrel full of other stupid ones as well. I will illustrate:

1. The storyline of Liam Neeson's kid who has apparently found the love of his life and learns to play the drums in an attempt to woo her. This is the least offensive of the stories, perhaps because the kid is so darn cute and Liam is charming in his role. But, come on- what father is going to tell his eight or nine-year-old kid he probably has found his soul mate? I didn't even know what my favorite kind of sandwich was at that age. It's madness. Not only that, he allows the little bugger to run around the airport like it's recess or something. He wouldn't be thrown in jail for that? And I don't know what it is about British movies having their kids swear. It's not cute. Maybe they do it for real, as the parents never seem to object.
2. The sex scene stand-ins. This was just weird. They're simulating sex and flirting with each other? Huh? Wouldn't the director tell them to shut up? I know when a chick is pretending to perform fellatio on me, I'm going to ask her out. And they say chivalry is dead.
3. Hugh Grant sure loves to pretend to be Prime Minister. This one had him lamenting his inability to land himself a woman (because we all know women just can't get with what Hugh Grant has to offer) and sort of, kind of flirting with a secretary in his office... house... thing. While Grant is awkwardly amusing as always, we never told why they were attracted to one another, just that they were. They never really had a conversation, and there's no reason to sympathize with Grant when he sees the president of the US (Billy Bob Thornton?!?) putting the moves on her. Not actually kissing her, just whispering in her ear. Apparently in England, that's like sleeping with her. Of course, she says in a Christmas card she's really his, which is a given, considering the 10 minutes of conversation they've shared before. Naturally, he goes bounding all over London, a small town if there ever was one, looking for her. And when he finds her, it's magical. The whole time, I don't think he even knew her last name. I guess that's not important.
4. Ah, Colin Firth. King of the British romances. Or something. This movies has Colin as a writer who finds his wife cheating on him, so he takes a vacation to France (or Portugal- it's never actually said) and has a maid. This maid, of course, can't speak English, and he can't speak Portuguese. Somehow they're able to overcome this small obstacle and fall in love over the course of three weeks. She leaves him... for some reason (they don't say), and he resolves to learn Portuguese. He does so, flies to France (or Portugal- it's never actually said) and asks her to marry him. Um... what? OK, there may be a physical attraction. Fine. But don't you have to actually, uh, COMMUNICATE with one another to establish some sort of bond? They spend all their time together looking at each other weirdly and wondering what the other was saying. I'm supposed to believe this is the bedrock of love? All I have to do is walk up to a girl and look at her a certain way and speak in Wookie for a while? Furthermore, I've been led to believe such strong bonds take time to develop. And it requires, you know, the ability to talk to one another. How do they know anything about each other? It makes no sense. Zero. Of course, I've only known Carolyn about 11 weeks. Maybe that's a telling sign for me. I knew Kat for a year before I dated her, Megan four months or so, Lizz a couple weeks. I think there's a discernible pattern. Maybe not. It's late.
5. This is the one that made me mad, and it started out the most innocently. Keira Knightley gets married to some guy, and his best friend, the best man at the wedding, isn't taking it well. People think that he simply doesn't care for her, but it later gets revealed to her that he actually loves her (she even points out that they never talked. Again, this apparently doesn't matter in England). So what does he do? Makes a series of signs telling her she's perfect and that he loves her. YOU DON'T DO THAT! A lot of girls think that's sweet. No. That is an ultimate betrayal of his (supposedly best) friend. I can't think of a worse way to stab him in the back. If I did that? I'd get gutted and rightfully so. So what does she do? Gives him a kiss. I feel bad for the husband. A fine wife and friend he has himself. Absolutely disgusting. That's right up there with The Village.

I can see why women would like this. People are happy, there are a lot of looks of longing and desire. But... it's empty. There's no substance to it. I'm told that I don't "get it," but I "get it" better than they do. It's not that I don't enjoy stories of love. Look at my list of favorite movies, it proves otherwise. It's just that I believe in a true sense of love, a real connection. That's not two people giving each other semi-meaningful looks for a couple weeks then throwing everything to the wind in the name of "love." I want something concrete. I want something raw. I want something real. I want the joy and the pain of it. I want vulnerability. I want a reason to care, a base for it to work off of. This movie doesn't have that.
Of course, if some of this happened in real life, would these women find it so charming? Unlikely. In fact, some of this behavior is decidedly stalkerish. We make allowances because it's a movie, and that's fine. But if you want to give me love, I expect some sort of exploration of it, not just superficial kisses and throwaway scenes and concepts. Give me something I can sink my teeth into. Give me something to aspire to, something to relate to. Give me reason to believe. That is why Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is so excellent. We see it all. Their relationship is naked for us to explore. Nothing is hidden. We understand what makes their love go. Their experience is shared with us. Love Actually gives us no experience, just the candy. The candy is nice, but I want to know who is giving it to me and why.

Just Keep On Keepin' On

The world, as Kracha was fond of saying, hadn't come to an end.

No, the world isn't over. There are three quotes I have on the wall above my computer: Job 2:10 (perhaps my favorite Bible verse), Ephesians 6:10-17, and this sentence from Thomas Bell's Out of This Furnace. More than anything else, it's supposed to remind me that no matter what crap is piling up around my neck, it's not over unless I'm being lowered into the ground in my overly expensive coffin. No one thing is going to ruin my life. In effect, the world hasn't ended.

It's a good thing to keep in mind for people like me that can overanalyze and let things get the better of them. Kracha had an affair, lost his wife, lost his second wife, got thrown in jail, and lost his business, but the world didn't end. He still had a life to live, something to make it out of. And I'm certainly in a much better position than he was. I just need to try and control the situation instead of the situation controlling me. I can't dictate the actions of others, so I can't let their actions dictate me. It's a constant battle against myself for supremacy between reason and panic.

Take tonight, for instance. I was sitting in Carolyn's room and she was working on a paper for her economics class. I was reading the newspaper, taking in the local information on the upcoming elections and chatting idly. At one point, she got frustrated and went to talk to Tyler for help. After she came back, I was done with the newspaper and was curious about what she was working on, so I looked at it. "Having fun?" she muttered. I could tell she was struggling with it, so I offered my help, limited as it was. "Don't help," she cut off quickly. "I just want to figure it out myself." I immediately thought, "Didn't you just seek out Tyler for help?" A few minutes later, she declared she was done working on it for the night and she was going to go hang out with Bethany and Tyler. It would be real easy for me to take that scene and think she was just trying to get away from me. But that's silly, right?

The world... hadn't come to an end. I have that and Shel telling me to stop being an idiot playing in my head as a loop. I really wish I had something of a stabilizing force around- the girl is anything but stabilizing. Oy.

And then last night, Jessica writes on my Facebook wall about the hug we had a few years ago at the New Year's party. If I were to construct a list of the top five most important moments in my romantic history, that would be on it. I don't get it. The girl just loves playing with my head... or maybe she just likes to keep me warm when she's not around. All you female types are very maddening. I don't like it.

Oh, and there's a new column up.