Taboo Taboos

I have to admit I really took to "Beauty and the Geek." For those of you who have never seen it, it's dubbed as a "social experiment" that pairs a geeky guy with a "beauty," a woman who is pretty (at least by the standards established by some) but doesn't have much in the way of knowledge or skills. The partners then teach each other what they know, such as computer skills, interior decorating, politics, fashion... whatever. As the show stresses, it's not a dating situation. They were showing the second season on MTV Sunday, so I was flipping between that and the NBA playoffs.
It ended up being really interesting, watching the girls learn things they thought they couldn't and the guys acquiring social skills they previously lacked. And, of course, it doesn't hurt to use the show to promote yourself. There was one particular episode in which the guys were versed in dating skills. Mind you, many of these guys had never been on a date before or had little more experience with women. So they learned about dating the way we all have, by reading books about it.

One part that struck me was when some guys were being quizzed and a question came across about what two things should not be discussed on the first date. He answered-and got the point for the question-that people should not discuss politics or religion on the first date. I don't get that.
We live in a country that has a very strange relationship with the spiritual. We've been called and claim ourselves to be a Christian nation (I've always wondered why this claim was so important; we're not flying the Cross on the flag or anything), yet we keep faith at arm's length unless it's convenient for us to invite it in. Need a reason to kick gays? Rally around the Bible! Church this Sunday? Well, I guess I'm not all that serious about my faith. As a people, we refuse to embrace faith, but we also refuse to push it away. It's like we can't decide. When it works for us, we go with it. When it doesn't, we ignore it.

My question is this: Why wouldn't you discuss religion on the first date? And if the first date isn't the right time for that, which one is? The third? Fifth? Twenty second? We're so afraid to offend each other, apparently. Well, if someone is offended by the fact I openly worship Christ, I'm not going to feel sorry for it or apologize for it. Similarly, I'm not going to be offended by someone else's faith (unless that religion is the Ohio State Buckeyes). Here's the thing. If you take religion even at least somewhat seriously, isn't it important to know how the person you're having dinner with stands? I wouldn't want to wait until a seventh date to find out the girl is Jewish. It's just not going to work that way. Religion is, for many people, a defining trait. Hiding it or not talking about it strikes me as dishonest. I want to know if we're compatible on this very basic level before moving forward. If so, great. If not, it's best to know that at the start. A seed can only grow in certain soils, right? I know where I stand. She's going to know that, and I'm going to know where she is. That's how it has to be. Plus, if we are in the same place in this regard, that's a great starting point. Talking about Jesus is a pretty good way to grow closer to someone, I say. I don't understand why we should not talk about something that should be celebrated instead.
Politics is a bit of a stickier issue. I probably wouldn't bring it up on a first date, but I wouldn't run away from it, either. For one thing, it's nice to know if I can hold such a conversation with the girl civilly. If it turns into a shouting match, that's probably a bad sign. Also, if we see eye-to-eye on a couple things, that's great. But if nothing else, it's a point of conversation. Conversation is usually a good thing.

The bottom line here is that it strikes me a silly to say these are not proper first date tactics. This is very basic, very important information about a person. Wouldn't you want to know these things?

Another thing from the show was a competition in which the guys had to memorize what kind of shoes and purses the girls wanted and pick them from a wall of a lot of shoes and purses. This might be my ranting side, but this seems like a pretty unfair characterization of women here. Are they trying to tell these guys shoes and purses are what's most important? That takes a pretty shallow chick to put that at the top of her list of priorities.