The sporadic episodes of thought and feeling, unfiltered, that I am prone to and need to release.

15.5.10

The Elevator

He's using the elevator?

This is what I think.  I rarely use the elevator myself; I shake my head at the people too lazy to use the stairs.  But today, I'm taking the elevator.  I just don't want to climb the stairs. I enter the building at the bottom floor; in my mind, this further justifies use of the lift.

And he's there, waiting.  I've seen him before- the most striking memory was seeing him lift more than 1,000 pounds.  The bar held as many 45-pound weights as it could, and they hung extra weights from chains.

I've never seen him smile.

And there he is, waiting for the elevator.  I line up behind him.  The door opens, and we step in.  The silence feels tense.  We're going to the same floor.  The door opens.  We exit.

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I am who I think I am, I am who you know I am, I am who I want to be, who I was, who I could be, who I can't be. I am.