The world, as Kracha was fond of saying, hadn't come to an end.
No, the world isn't over. There are three quotes I have on the wall above my computer: Job 2:10 (perhaps my favorite Bible verse), Ephesians 6:10-17, and this sentence from Thomas Bell's Out of This Furnace. More than anything else, it's supposed to remind me that no matter what crap is piling up around my neck, it's not over unless I'm being lowered into the ground in my overly expensive coffin. No one thing is going to ruin my life. In effect, the world hasn't ended.
It's a good thing to keep in mind for people like me that can overanalyze and let things get the better of them. Kracha had an affair, lost his wife, lost his second wife, got thrown in jail, and lost his business, but the world didn't end. He still had a life to live, something to make it out of. And I'm certainly in a much better position than he was. I just need to try and control the situation instead of the situation controlling me. I can't dictate the actions of others, so I can't let their actions dictate me. It's a constant battle against myself for supremacy between reason and panic.
Take tonight, for instance. I was sitting in Carolyn's room and she was working on a paper for her economics class. I was reading the newspaper, taking in the local information on the upcoming elections and chatting idly. At one point, she got frustrated and went to talk to Tyler for help. After she came back, I was done with the newspaper and was curious about what she was working on, so I looked at it. "Having fun?" she muttered. I could tell she was struggling with it, so I offered my help, limited as it was. "Don't help," she cut off quickly. "I just want to figure it out myself." I immediately thought, "Didn't you just seek out Tyler for help?" A few minutes later, she declared she was done working on it for the night and she was going to go hang out with Bethany and Tyler. It would be real easy for me to take that scene and think she was just trying to get away from me. But that's silly, right?
The world... hadn't come to an end. I have that and Shel telling me to stop being an idiot playing in my head as a loop. I really wish I had something of a stabilizing force around- the girl is anything but stabilizing. Oy.
And then last night, Jessica writes on my Facebook wall about the hug we had a few years ago at the New Year's party. If I were to construct a list of the top five most important moments in my romantic history, that would be on it. I don't get it. The girl just loves playing with my head... or maybe she just likes to keep me warm when she's not around. All you female types are very maddening. I don't like it.
Oh, and there's a new column up.
It's a good thing to keep in mind for people like me that can overanalyze and let things get the better of them. Kracha had an affair, lost his wife, lost his second wife, got thrown in jail, and lost his business, but the world didn't end. He still had a life to live, something to make it out of. And I'm certainly in a much better position than he was. I just need to try and control the situation instead of the situation controlling me. I can't dictate the actions of others, so I can't let their actions dictate me. It's a constant battle against myself for supremacy between reason and panic.
Take tonight, for instance. I was sitting in Carolyn's room and she was working on a paper for her economics class. I was reading the newspaper, taking in the local information on the upcoming elections and chatting idly. At one point, she got frustrated and went to talk to Tyler for help. After she came back, I was done with the newspaper and was curious about what she was working on, so I looked at it. "Having fun?" she muttered. I could tell she was struggling with it, so I offered my help, limited as it was. "Don't help," she cut off quickly. "I just want to figure it out myself." I immediately thought, "Didn't you just seek out Tyler for help?" A few minutes later, she declared she was done working on it for the night and she was going to go hang out with Bethany and Tyler. It would be real easy for me to take that scene and think she was just trying to get away from me. But that's silly, right?
The world... hadn't come to an end. I have that and Shel telling me to stop being an idiot playing in my head as a loop. I really wish I had something of a stabilizing force around- the girl is anything but stabilizing. Oy.
And then last night, Jessica writes on my Facebook wall about the hug we had a few years ago at the New Year's party. If I were to construct a list of the top five most important moments in my romantic history, that would be on it. I don't get it. The girl just loves playing with my head... or maybe she just likes to keep me warm when she's not around. All you female types are very maddening. I don't like it.
Oh, and there's a new column up.
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